Alfaaz

Zotta does it again!

2011-04-25T17:59:00.001Z

I don't know how he does it, but he never fails to catch me dumbstruck..

Zotta!

2010-08-04T16:29:00.001Z

One of the awesomest stuff to come out of Zotta's factory:

The lilies bloom!

2010-07-14T17:40:00.000Z

For things may be tough.
the weather rough,
life unfair,
a world in despair,
and then the lilies bloom.

For words,may pierce,
others simply jeer,
or it is time,
to lower your plume,
and then,the lilies bloom.

They wait,to revile,
to kill,and defile,
to make it seem,
not worthwhile,
and yet,the lilies bloom.

They've seen it all,
the wait,the fall,
to glow bright,
ethereal beauty infinite,
and so,the lilies bloom.

Tu

2010-06-15T17:00:00.001Z

Teri rooh mein main,meri rooh mein tu,kuch is tarah kho jayein,
ya main fanaa ho jaun,ya tu fanaa ho jaye..

word meanings:
rooh:spirit
fanaa:destroy,lost

Her

2010-04-26T17:19:00.002Z

I loved a lady once,and I love her now too,
Her beauty ethereal,her eyes blue,

Her face chiseled,by the rays of sun,
Her hair,jovial,even in a bun,

Her gait elegant,her smell sweet,
Her grace flowed,as a satin sheet,

Her aura delightful,her words,wine,
Why her death was inevitable,but isn't,mine?

The universe!

2010-04-22T17:57:00.002Z

Here's an argument to put to rest that there's multitude of deities and gods to govern us,to give out judgment,to help us at different times of the day and so on and so forth.

The argument is:
Try to decipher the true meaning of the word 'Universe'

Its composed of two words:Uni(one) and Verse(line or paragraph)

So,if the whole universe is composed of only one line,or maybe just one stanza,
how could it be so full of so many gods that the rest of us do not remain people?
:)

A new age dawns?

2010-04-01T17:11:00.002Z

Kranti ke is yug mein,anupam bhaar apna lo,
Singh garjana,lahu pukaarti chinghaar nikaalo,
Hathiyaar to phalte hain,bas jung ke maidaan mein,
Is prem yudh mein,tum ghazalon ka saar nikaalo!

Word meanings:
Kranti:revolution
Anupam:valuable
Singh:Lion
Garjana:Roar
Lahu:blood
chinghaar:cry
Saar:summary

Meaning:

In this age of revolution,you take upon a valuable responsibility,
Scream out a lion's roar,a blood demanding cry,
Weapons are used in the battle field,
In this war of armor(love),you summarize poems.

What looks isn't so?

2010-03-10T15:41:00.001Z

Akad na samjho,aisi chaal ko humaari,
Bina dekhe taare chchue hain kissi ne?

Those who do get it,thank you!

Entropy?

2009-12-29T17:39:00.003Z

Don't you think you're wonderful?
truly lucky and amazing,just to be alive?

Well,I don't say so because of some spiritual guruistic knowledge,dawned upon me from some sixth adobe above the clouds.

I can say so scientifically!

I hope you know the third law of thermodynamics,about entropy,about everything moving from order to chaos,spontaneously?
That in order to reverse this process,it takes hell lot of energy?

and then you see around,and find everything around you behaving in accordance to this law?

Except you?

your body is a structural marvel!its a biologists nightmare!

so many enzymes,so many chemicals rolled into one,one concrete bound mass,not disorder,not randomness,but complete harmony,and synchrony!

why?how?

Of course it would take a lot of energy to maintain this level of order,so why does this happen?

Here's my abstraction:
The whole,i mean the whole system of the universe wants to express something out of you.That's why so many different chemicals,decided exactly of heir composition and came together to form you.

What it is,when it shall come,none knows.But that's the reason why such humongous amount of energy was spent in creating you,to create such order.

The very fact that,while i bathe,i do not disintegrate,is simply the reason,why i am so lucky!

Maybe..maybe when u're not acting to express something,or not acting at all,or maybe your expression is complete,you just disintegrate.Simply die.

die die die..my darling!:)

What if?

2009-12-28T17:48:00.003Z

What if,the world that we now understand,is not as how we understand it?

Just take,for example,your eyes,which allow a visual display of all vivid colors and emotions around you,of all that is happening around you,your world,your home,your everything..the visual input,the camera,your eyes.

what if?

The eyes were not the input,not the camera.But a projector?

The world would change,your eyes projecting not whats around you,but whats in you.Projecting your prejudices,your attitudes,your emotions,your thoughts...but still,on a deeper level,your everything!

26/11

2009-11-24T19:18:00.004Z

for 26/11 aniversary:

Us din ki yaad mein, hum ek paigaam laye hain,
Ek saal baad, ek naya makaam laye hain,
Jo dil mein hain, woh gehre hain ghaav,
Par zara kholo aankhen,dekho hum honsle tamaam laye hain.

har din har pal, us dard ko jeene ki himmat,
aur watan pe marne waalon ki woh kismat,
hum to reh gaye, na ja sake na jee sake,
Bas sar jhukaye, unke liye, ye kalaam laye hain

Word meaning suggestions:
paigaam:message
makaam:milestone
Tamaam:all
Kalaam:poem

If you really were/are touched by the incident,
please Fast on 26/11's first anniversary.
Do join us for a Candle lighting ceremony at GIP,Noida on26/11 from 7pm to 8:30 pm.

Chicks waiting!

2009-11-05T16:33:00.004Z

This diwali,on 12th of October,the Rotractors,the youth division of Rotary club put up a stall at a Diwali mela,where these cuddly chicks made by children at Grace home orphanage,were also on display.

The announcement we made on the DJ was...
"Cute chicks waiting for you,to take them home,at stall number 2 by Rotract club noida!"

Kal phir socha

2009-10-09T14:11:00.002Z

Kal phir socha,ek ghazal likhen,
Kuch naya likhen,ya phir nakal likhen,
Kucha isa jo ghazalon ki hasrat badal de,
Misro aur panno mein kaid kuch aise pal likhen.

Labz mere aur naam tera ho jinme,
Mehak teri,kalaam tera ho jinme,
Honth mere aur jaam tera ho jinme,
Rooh tak pahunchta aaram tera ho jinme.

Alfaaz kuch duniya badal likhen,
Phir socha,ek ghazal likhen,
Par..khush bahut hun aaj,
to socha,kal likhen!

Word meanings:
ghazal:a poem
nakal:cheated
hasrat:condition
misro:stanzas
kalam:talk
rooh:soul

Cency,compla

2009-09-28T17:43:00.003Z

Having won great victories and thinking of doing enough,you sit back,relax and try to enjoy.
Having struggled for long,desperate attempts to get past a situation,get a promotion,buy a phone,solve a crisis et al.

Relaxing.huh?

Then a thought crops up in your mind.

Is this what remains when you take away every thing?
And everything,means everything,including life(or the life death paradox).

What remains?

And talking of the life death paradox,how do you know that you're not already dead?
What is the difference between life and death?

And lastly,it is fine only,if such questions come to you after loads of joy and not out of gloom and darkness.

And he went on..

2009-09-23T13:55:00.001Z

And he went on,
not hearing the voices in his head.
Thoughtless,
dreamless,
he had awakened,
his creative soul.

Jis dar par

2009-09-14T13:51:00.001Z

"Main waale,tu waale,
ban ke reh gaye rah geer,
Jis dar par hum khade hain,
wahan kya raja kya fakeer!"

umm..kya raja kya sameer??
chee?
koi mujhe chup karwao?

Kalakaar Mare gaye?

2009-09-13T14:22:00.003Z

Class mein baithe hue ek khayaal:

"phir maar gayee kitaab ek aur kalakaar ko,
par phir ye misra kahan se aaya?"

word meanings:
misra:(not mishra) verse.

Thoughts?

2009-08-26T14:39:00.003Z

Thoughts,thoughts and again,more thoughts.

Is there anything else you identify with?
Is there anything else beyond thoughts that our mind can feel?

Can that thoughtless state be achieved?

And how do you know,that you're not dead already?

They say,being dead means that the body stops working.Fine.That happens almost in my sleep.
So am I dead?

They say that the thoughts cease to exist.Fine,again in my sleep.

So what is it that makes you dead..or alive?
There has to be something beyond thoughts for it,since thats the last resort we take to define our selves.

So what do you identify yourself with?

"Waqt aa gaya hai,sita ko phir wohi laqueer dikhaane ka,
Sheron ko bilon se bahar kar,unki tasveer dikhaane ka!"

Kya bane baithe ho?

2009-08-21T14:53:00.003Z

"Hai kya tujhme,jo khuda ban baithe ho?
aur kya nahi hai usme,jo juda ban baithe ho?"

Arz hai

2009-08-07T02:07:00.001Z

"un aakhiri palon mein,jab socha kya paya,kya khoya tha...,
kya zameen,kya jahaan,saara aasmaan roya tha.."

Breath,itself

2009-08-03T17:30:00.002Z

Something we never notice,yet something we believe sustains us.

Something we only notice when we're put into a blue line bus with 50 odd passengers,stocked up
and suffocated and groping for a place to keep a hand on.

Yet,something so essential.

Breath.

And by the way,how are you breathing today?

Are your lungs forcing the breath to come in?

or the breath forcing the lungs to inflate?
What is under your control?

Are you under the control of the air surrounding you?Or is it the other way round.
Try it out!

(after reading the lectures on Raja Yoga,from the complete works of Swami Vivekananda,Advaita Books)

And also,
Why in India,they want to stuff 50 people in a bus and still want to preserve the cultural heritage of India,via section 377??

Mind it?

2009-07-26T10:08:00.002Z

When I meet you,how do I recognize you?
Of course,by your smell(mind the cliche),or by your voice,your face,or by your touch,and of course,not by your taste.

Simply,I use my 5 senses,of smell,hearing,seeing or touching.

These senses send the signal to my brain,who makes connections and thus recognizes you.

So see this whole process from a different point of view.

Could it be possible,since we do no have any other way of recognizing people,that there is no me or you,its just the brain playing tricks?

Its just the brain,telling the senses that somebody has touched it,or it has smelled something,or it has seen something.

Sounds matrix like?Maybe,but we may have no other way of knowing it,until we try to develop the sixth sense.

Mesmerized

2009-07-25T09:24:00.003Z

She looks at me,
her scent alluring,
I stop in my tracks,
unable to move,
her icy sheet,
freezes me,
I shiver,
with joy.
The white lilies,
bloomed again.

Is it?

2009-07-23T13:47:00.002Z

Is it the eyes that see?
Or is it the mind that sees?

Who interprets?Who makes the picture?

Does the world seem,nay,even look the same to me and the dog?

Tasting water

2009-07-22T02:20:00.001Z

You can't taste water!

It neither has any taste or atleast a very minute,very subtle taste.
Because....

You and water are essentially the same!
You're(and even I am) 70% water.So whenever water enters our system,there's basically no chemical reaction,or a very minute one.

No chemistry,no reaction,no taste?

Ze boddy!

2009-07-20T06:30:00.002Z

Written one night for a dear friend:

Duda,

1.What is the body?

Isn't it just various chemicals,various elements joined together?Various chemicals of various elements,working together?
Even the mind which produces thoughts,is a blob of various chemicals?

Isn't it then just amazing,that a blob of chemicals,the same chemicals that we use in our chemistry labs,
the same chemicals that some times go down the drain in our kitchens and bathrooms,
which we sometimes eat as food,
waste as our solvents and cleaners,

is producing something as fascinating and exciting as a thought?

A thought,something as subtle as what I am writing.

2.What is then pain?
Pain would be just an imbalance in the body's chemicals.

A dis balance which is cured by providing external medicines(chemicals again) or asking the body to look at it and balance itself(acupressure,puncture).

3.Why does pain,then,hurt so much?

Because we can't control it.

The imbalance doesn't sort out itself,automatically,therefore the pain controls us.It goes on until we find something external to control it,a pill or some pressure point.

Sometimes,there is just deficiency of the chemicals in the body,so just a change of diet would cure the pain.

4.But then,if everything is chemicals,simply various phospholipids,proteins,et al,then how can they,the chemicals,arrange and organize themselves so efficiently to create a body,a mind and thoughts?

Why can't a bottle of shampoo containing the same chemicals do so?

What controls these chemicals?Why don't they just spill out?

They are bound by the will.Call it the will,the law,the love,the soul,whatever.

That is what controls them.It works through the mind to control the body.It produces the thought in the mind.

How can then we control the pain,the body and the mind?

By controlling,or by knowing the will or the soul.

How?
Thats what still remains to be found out!
well,chanting is a way,you can try that out,or you can find an way that works for you.

Btw,ever wondered why water doesn't have any taste?

Lots of things..

2009-07-14T17:22:00.003Z

okay...so aaj ka din..

did a few interesting things..which included thinking on these topics:

1.heard kailash kher's new album..awesum dood...yo dude!

2.thought about this:
If the whole world,well most of us,or maybe the most of who i see are running after money,more and more money...then,wouldn't it make more sense,that they tried doing things that were less painful and more paying?

like why should i get a degree,if all i want is to earn money?Why shouldn't i buy a grocery shop and run it and in four years of my degree,i may be richer than I'll be after my degree.

3.Was doing a bit of riyaaz,singing raag todi,and was bored with the usual stuff,so tried this:

a)tried to zoom in from a distance,like the google maps,and tried zooming in on my neighbors house,where i had flown a lot of kites,the stairs where their tenants have their cigarettes,their kaam waali bai who cooks food in the kitchen before the tenants come,

and explain it all using raag todi?

b)played simpsons,muted on the music player,and then tried to mimic all the actions using raag toodi??

4.Its kind of wierd that all we usually use to communicate is sounds.We speak,we talk to each other using words,we communicate.

Yet their are very few words explaining the sounds.The normal small talk is fine,yet just sit back and try to listen to all the sounds,whichyou can't comprehend and then try to describe them.Very few words.

Made a new word after hearing a sound in front of spice,called Rarking.
roots?

the spice mall had a board saying parking,and i did this excercise in front of it.so...
umm..
ab maaroge mujhe?

Closed eyes

2009-07-12T18:14:00.002Z

As I,
close the two petals,
and enter into a realm,
yet unknown,
yet infinite,
yet alluring,
dwelling deeper,
into myself.
I blink.

Quarrel?

2009-07-12T09:25:00.002Z

Why do we quarrel?
Why at all?

Because,we believe that we are right and the other person is wrong?
that's the only reason which seems logical,except the quarrel we have just for lightning up the mood.

But then,why do we think the other person is wrong,in a serious quarrel?

Isn't this also a duality?A right and a wrong?

Think about it,were you in their place,under their circumstances,forced to be brought up as they were,wouldn't have you reacted similarly?

Then,where is the quarrel?
Is is just a matter of difference of opinions or just the perspective?

Because,bandhu...no matter how many fights,quarrels,you win..
you just can't win in the end.

By the way,have you met anybody,who cheated death?

Love in the times of origami

2009-07-09T18:52:00.002Z

"Each piece of paper(soul) is potentially origami(divine)..
Its just a matter of how you fold it..."

wohooo!!
me likes origami!

Silence

2009-07-06T15:00:00.001Z

I have,
started sitting quietly,
and let my silence talk.

A deep,sonorous,silence.

And as I stand still,
here,
my silence grows.

Gladiator!

2009-07-03T15:06:00.003Z

Watched gladiator...and...umm...kuch similar hai?

Mare jaoge?

2009-07-02T17:57:00.000Z

As the wretched wrench turns
and the whistles blow,
announcing an end,or its near,
the lighter shades,
the colour fades,
and drains out,
like the palm that,
loses its colour,
pressed against its own thumb.

Written after just seeing and not experiencing the pressure that commercial research
implies,for producing drugs for everyone's benefit,yet draining the same people that make
them happen.

Born

2009-06-30T15:58:00.002Z

Read them as they're written,with pause after each and every line.

There is,
nothing,
so beautiful,
no vision,
no pallete,
neither so spontaneous,
none so vast,
yet so deep,
as I met,
myself,
and I was,
born,
yet again.

Plastic dreams

2009-06-27T18:05:00.003Z

plastic bag par ban!
plastic bag par ban!

janta ne kaha haan?to haan!
isse kehte hain democracy...
what an idea sirjee?

Will this dream ever come true?

The reason we are not moving towards a completely plastic free society,even despite the fact that they have been banned in New Delhi,is:

fairly simple.
The consumer wants convenience!

Tell me,you are coming back from your office,and want to pick up some supplies of grocery from a local store.You are tired of nagging from your boss and fed up of the traffic.

Would you,at that critical point of time,care to get a jute bag from your place?
no!
Its not convenient.neither is it a total substitute for plastic.It starts stinking after a few days,is not completely water proof,is not stretchable and neither is it light.

Then why should you switch over?

yes yes,,environment and all blah blah...but where's the convenience?

Throughout history,we've seen,if people had better alternatives which had a lower cost,some extra ease,or even same features,but more convenience,every body shifted.

Take the case of cassette tapes?People found cd's better and cheaper and more data storing,so..they shifted..and then to dvds and now..to blue ray discs...

In case of plastic,there's no such substitute.
Or maybe there is..something called PHB.

But then,no body's looking at it.

No body promotes industries producing PHBs,no body wants to market them,no body wants to get then delivered to the end users,no body wants to subsidize them..
and the same nobody...wants a blanket ban on plastics!

If you're a person who can make a difference,find or make people find a real substitute,a convenient substitute for non biodegradable plastic.

Some this that has all the same qualities of a plastic bag,yet is bio degraable and can completely replace plastic in every form.
or atleast some.

tab tak...naare baazi jaari rakho?

Oye!bakwass band kar!

2009-06-21T09:53:00.002Z

Mazza aaya!
phir se!

Something amazing happened.I was replying to a mssg from a friend,who had sent a forward,I didn't like much.
So i replied:oye!bakwass band kar!

and accidentally,sent it to her mother.

Through out the evening I had a gaala time in hiding my identity from her mother,while at the same time messaging her to placate her mother when she reaches back home.

And thus was born a new way of teasing!
So,sent up a couple of messages to people,saying the same thing...oye!bakwass band kar.

When they replied,what bakwass?
Reply:"what bakwass?"ye bakwass.
they say:"bhang khayee hai kya?"
reply:"what bakwass?","bhang khayee hai kya?"ye bakwass!

and go on!!
mast bidooo!

Best wishes for a journey...

2009-06-20T17:57:00.001Z

"Jaate jaate pardes,des ke din sunhaane lete jao,
Kuch aur na sahi to,waapas aane ke bahaane lete jao??"

Aise hi bas suddenly...

Dhoke baazooo!!

2009-06-17T07:36:00.000Z

ab batao....kya kahen??

Gifat lelo....

2009-06-14T18:22:00.003Z

So,
you like receiving gifts?

who doesn't?But they say that there's never a free lunch.

Okay,lets do this activity.Chose any mundane activity,that anybody around does for you.Chose any one,like drive you to the college,or wash your clothes,cook food for you,or give you water when you come back tired.

Any activity.
The question is...Why do they do it??
Why?

Deep introspection,lots of days,grumpy mood swings later,the answer that I got was..because they love you.

There can't be any other reason.
Why does you mom do all this stuff?Why at all does your friend invite you to his home for lunch?

It may not be that direct,but in a way,in some form,they love you.

So doesn't that love need a reciprocation?
Haan haan,they say that love needs to be selfless,but who doesn't like receiving an unexpected gift?
But if everyone expects a gift,then who shall give?

You dude!you shall give!
You have to pay in love.

It may be difficult to start,but if you really want to appreciate,do it now!
how?
Whenever you go to anybody's place,uncle,aunt's even drivers,remember that you're going and they are receiving you,giving you their time.

So,never go empty handed to anyone's place!

Don't be a shopaholic and go on buying random stuff,

but stuff like a box of orbit chewing gum,
or a cd track you heard,
or a small sheet of paper with cute little baby drawings on them,

or a book you liked n wudn't mind lending
or even a pack of uncooked maggi,which you take along and order them to cook,would be able to repay the debt that you owe them!

Never go empty handed!(but neither so full that they're bound to give you return gifts)

and the best part is...many of you,unknowingly,have been doing this,for long!

2009-06-11T13:05:00.003Z

When you are tired and sleeping..
almost into that unknown dreamland that you go into,after you close your eyes..
just when you are about to doze off...
ask yourself,honestly about the day...

What next?
(got a new digicam,threw away the old film based camera,and before that had thrown away the black and whit one,so..what shall be the next technology?)

ask your self...What next?
(had great fun today,enjoyed the rides,but what next?)

and the other question..
Is this the final thing?
Is this all?
Would this permanently remain?
Would still,something,me,you,death,take it away?

and then...when you find your ego expounding and taking you for a ride,your self becoming too much to handle..

ask yourself..

"aaj phir bistar geela karne ka plan hai?"
(would you wet the bed,tonight,again?)

Lochness:newness?

2009-06-10T07:42:00.002Z

Heard it many times,many times before that in everything you do,think about creating something new(that rhymes,doesn't it?)?

So then,as per this ancient prophecy of doing everything in a new way,lets ask ourselves,what new thing needs to be be done?

In view of the recent attacks and protest in Kashmir and Australia,isn't there a need to protest in a new way?

By now,the so called standard way of protests include,candle light marches,dharnas,rallies,petitions etc,which stood the test of history and have..a proven track record.

Then,I ask,is there a new way to protest?

Mmmmmmmyeeeeaaas...We Indians haven't tried the way what the Japanese do.They protest creatively,constructively.All our protests are,to say generally,destructive.

We burn candles,at places which already have lights,we stop the roads for a rally,stop our work for higher wages.
All of them,if not reduce some resource,also don't increase some other.

Accha yaar,round round jaane ke baje,the point is,lets protest constructively.

For wages,lets over work,so that the company suffers losses not due to our damage of property,but due to extra unsold products.

To show solidarity for someone killed,get your heads shaved off.

To show your anger for not enough schools,teach some children.

To show solidarity for the malnutrition,fast?So that the extra food saved,would finally be given to them.

No no no no...I don't say that,other ways are impractical or useless.They're all ways of showing strength,a show that you care.

The need is to combine the both.

What say a protest march showing that you're angered about lack of schools,ending in a MCD school where you then teach for 1 hour?

Or a candle light march which buys candles from a blind school,and then donates any collected donations to the same school?

Awareness to inti hai,par kaam kaun kare!!

Bole to bidu,munna bhai aayi..aur gaayi...par apan lesson bhool re hain.

kya?

(Btw,I'll be fasting this 26/11 as a show of solidarity for the Mumbai terror attach victims.Join in?

http://fasting2remember.blogspot.com/ )

Logic?

2009-06-08T10:12:00.002Z

Hey you there!

What are you working for?
If you can read this post from your,iMac or IBM computer,I think you've got enough to sustain yourself for the rest of your life...
then what are you working for?

Maan jaa lala,you're working to create good things for the society,good things for those who can't sustain themselves,good things for people who can't work.

Then why are YOU so tensed?
Then why are you killing your happiness?

Oye lucky,when u're working to create happiness,then how can you do so,by ur self remaining sad?dasso?

Certificates,trophies,medals...et al..

2009-06-05T18:25:00.002Z

At our age,parents are nothing more than genies.You ask them,request them for something
and they give you that,some times sooner,sometimes later.

Then what else,you ask,you need?Still why is this,emptiness,after having almost
everything?

Applause,gifts,trophies,certificates,sweet talk,favorite food,swanky car,good
clothes,everything you got as a gesture of appreciation on some occasion or if you got
them just like that,still,you ask,why this emptiness?

A foreign trip,cooked and warm food when you return late night,a phone recharge whenever
you want,still you ask what is missing?

Apart from all these gestures,all these little things of appreciation,if one really needs
to appreciate,really cares...then..a touch....

A touch is missing.A hug,a peck,a cuddle.A random nose pull,or an ear doggle,a pinch or a
light slap...that's what is missing.

If you really want to appreciate someone,really care,then everything,is secondary,comes
after wards,is dispensable,but a hug.

You shall find children who can live without yummy food,without cars and AC and big TVs
and faster computers,but it shall be hard to find a child who is living without a hug.

Or maybe,it isn't so hard.For most of us have been,living in such a manner,or
rather..dying,murdering ourselves,the child in us,in such a manner.

No other questions.Just ask,when was the last time you hugged your father?

And to start this of,now,is still all the more difficult.But you have to make a
start,start from a handshake or a feet touch daily to a cuddle or a arm hug,and then you
may gradually move on.

Meeting an old friend,after a long time but don't know how to break ice?Hug!
Too busy for family,even though you want to steal away your time for them?hug!
Too busy to talk,but want to give respect,grattitude,appreciation?hug!

The warmth of this hug is enough to break any ice,no matter how solid!

And for the ladies,it might sound a little odd,a little awkward to start hugging.But one
may startoff with the female friends,and give the males a arm hug?The warmth shall
dissolve all awkwardness!

Those on stage,giving a prize,appreciating someone,if with a deep desire to do so,please hug!

You'll have to start off somewhere...

Or else,we'll be stuck there.Machines asking genies for prizes.

Lost it?

2009-06-03T08:29:00.004Z

Think you've lost it too?
your baccha pan?

This song reminded me of the same thing...
(download from http://beemp3.com/download.php?file=4793451&song=Garaj+Baras+-+ApnaMela.Com+-)

Artist: Jagjit Singh
Album: In Sight

garaj baras pyaasii dhartii par phir paanii de maulaa
chiDiyon ko daanaa, bachchon ko guDadhaanii de maulaa

do aur do kaa jod hameshaa chaar kahaan hotaa hai
soch samajhavaalon ko thodii naadaanii de maulaa

(the sum of 2 and 2 is not always 4,give some randomness to the intelligent)

phir roshan kar zahar kaa pyaalaa chamakaa naii saliiben
jhuuThon kii duniyaa men sach ko taabaanii de maulaa

[saliiben=Christian cross; taabaanii brightness]

phir muurat se baahar aakar chaaron or bikhar jaa
phir mandir ko koii miiraa diivaanii de maulaa

tere hote koii kisii kii jaan kaa dushman kyon ho
jiinevaalon ko marane kii aasaanii de maulaa

get the concepts right!

2009-06-03T08:11:00.002Z

This happened in anoopshehar where we were invited to teach 10th class students for a week.

In one of the classes,we just randomly asked..What do you want to become when you grow up?
There were numerous responses...engineers,doctors,teachers...

The most common one was..that of an engineer..

So,I asked one of the weak students,why don't you want to become an engineer?
And he replied:

"guruji,jab sab engineer banjayenge,to bora kaun dhoyego?"
(if everyone becomes an engineer,then who'll carry the sacks?)

Is this what you're doing to your kid?

2009-06-02T07:55:00.002Z

baba ji,dasso hun main ki karaan?

(munna..this one's inspired from you...)

The last semester

2009-06-01T06:58:00.002Z

Oh,there you are...

Certain questions which have boggled my mind almost the whole of the last semester,(this i may site as a reason for my poor grades),but I hope you understand the answers are not so easily found...

Pardon me from being ingratitude filled,but

why are you living?
I think anyone from my college or he industry,reading this now on an iMac of a desktop,has enough money to sustain him,comfortably,for almost the rest of his life?

Then,what are you working for??
Naaah,too lame,what are you living for?

Nobody will give you a reply,which shall satisfy you,until you fray your nerves and think over it.

Most people cite,for others,for society,for welfare..
so?
When you die,will these activities cease to exist?
When you die,the world stops?
When you die,all misery shall be overcome,since you've done so much good?

Bolo?
bolo bolo?

bidu,apun ki to lag gayee in sawaalon se....and I've found some replies..
When you ask these questions forcefully and 'dil-se',the replies shall seacrh for you....(too filmy,eh?)

Sheer love

2009-05-31T10:09:00.003Z

If my tears can take away your sorrow,
let my eyes run dry..
If my words could take away your pain,
let me speak in my sleep..
If my voice could soothe your scars,
let it never cease..
And if my prayers could heal you,
let my every breath pray.....

The adventures of chi chi chidiya!

2009-05-29T17:28:00.004Z

This happened between zotta(harjyot) and me...ess emm ess
:zotta paaji,chi chi chidiya called and said ki dhoop badi hai..garmi lagdi hai.Khane peene mein bhi mushkil hai.main to karditta apne yahan...tussi kitta?

zotta:maa nu bol ditta..

next day..
:paaji.chi chi chidiya asks if the work is done.
zotta:ma roz paani khaana daldi hain.

:chi chi chidiya and babaji says thank you to zotta!
zotta:main to kar raha haan apna KARMA
:to chi chi chidiya nu thanku das jo ae mauka ditta!
zotta:jai chi chi!

have you earned your thank you from the chi chi chidiya??
no??
what stops you?
chi chi chidiya likes bajra seeds and water in an earthen vase...
yo chi chi studd chidiyaa!

chi chi chidiya's friends

Pee roblem?

2009-05-27T17:51:00.002Z

The problem right now is...nothing!

Just we're not sharing enough good things with people.

When we're happy,we remember people who had last done good to us.I say last done,since a single bad action destroys all previous victories.

So when you're happy...do something you've never done before...something you've never planned to do before..

Or if you're too tired...
send a funny forwarded sms to a grumpy busy businesslike person?of course,along with,to those who you love!

yo dude!!
dhishkyaaaun!

Recession?

2009-05-27T13:12:00.001Z

Ek subah,college ke mandir ke saamne ek banda mattha tek raha tha..

Fankee:
Nahi bhai kuch nahi hone waala,nahi jaane waala recession.
bhagwaan se kya mang rahe ho,woh to khud girvi pade hue hain!

When you stop living!

2009-05-26T18:39:00.002Z

"tujhe bhejun sandesh meri laado?
ki tu na aana is des meri laado?"

Often,as it happens,we lose touch of common friends.What say of common old friends but even of ourselves.How we used to dance in the rain,how we laughed and made jokes about any tiny observations we had in a movie,or how we used to do lots of little things,which were fun!

Then,what is the problem?

The problem is,that
1.We are not sharing enough of good things.
2.We are thinking of time,office and work having control over us.

Can you beat that?We actually barter things that we liked(rain,fun) for things like office?

So what can you do?
here's what i do...
Whenever there's something special happening,something that makes me feel glad,something that touches the heart...

I send an abrupt sms.

An abrupt sms like..kyun hoti hai.....<5 lines gap> uttran?
Or something like..Omlette banate woqt kya dhaniya dalta hai?
or the one you see on the top..
or at the most a forwarded one..

And specially send it to people,who you know that wouldn't reply,or those who you think are supposed to be really busy with their work,or people who are down.

9 out of 10 times,u'll get a reply,or atleast u'll talk about this in future...

Don't try this aise hi..try it when you really feel like sending this sms...feel like "I-am-happy-but-this-person-maybe-not"

I've tried it with top notch professionals,directors,teachers,artists, bussy bees.
Just to make sure that they won't forget what they're actually working for!

Random thoughts

2009-05-26T10:20:00.001Z

During a conversation at Spice mall with ankit(Fankee)

Me:le..sardaar ka phone aa gaya..
Sardar(sitting on the side):(starts talking to his girl friend)

Fankee:haan haan poore updates maangti hai..har baar phone karke apna database update karti hai...

Name:wahi hai..
Address:wahi hai..
Sex:nahi yaar..abhi khana khaaya hai!!

--
Be creative,be a Balshree:
http://balshree.blogspot.com/

My blog:
Care for India,speak for it:
http://kavyabol.blogspot.com

Lines....

2009-05-24T10:58:00.004Z

Kabhie jaanti thi teri shama humein,parwaano ki tarah....
kal,teri mehfil mein,tujhse mile,anjaano ki tarah.

Shabdaarth(word meanings):

1.Shama:flame of a candle
2.Parwaana:moth
3.Anjaano:strangers

Kab jaana ye ishq hai?

2009-04-09T19:54:00.005Z

Requestwa:please don't relate or askwa why i wrotewa such a poemwa..its just a random thought..

kab jaana ye ishq hai? कब जाना ये इश्क है?

jab aankhon se behti majhdhaar ko ,जब आँखों से बहती मज धार को,
wo haath apnane lage,वोह हाथ अपनाने लगे,

aur khud-b-khub haath badhkar, और ख़ुद-ब-ख़ुद हाथ बढ़कर,
haathon mein samane lage, हाथों में समाने लगे,

aur hoton par aayi baat ko, और होटों पर आई बात को,
tere nayan batane lage, तेरे नयन बताने लगे,

tab jaana ye ishq hai, तब जन ये इश्क है!

jab yaad teri aane bhar se,जब याद तेरी आने भर से
geele cheent,gaalon par aane lage,गीले छींट,गालों पर आने लगे ,

jab raat ko yunhi baithe hue,जब रात को यूँही बैठे हुए,
aise geet zehen mein aane lage, ऐसे गीत जेहन में आने लगे,

aur mohalle mein apne,hum, और मोहल्ले में अपने हम,
shayar kehlaane lage,शायर कहलाने लगे,

tab jaana ye ishq hai, तब जन ये इश्क है!

jab haathon mein uske,जब हाथों में उसके,
haath dekh tera,हाथ देख तेरा,

na tanj na shikan ke, न तंज, न शिकन के ,
phir bhi tujhe apnane lage ,फिर भी तुझे अपनाने लगे ,

aur aise khayaalo ki aad le, और ऐसे ही ख्यालों की आड़ लेकर,
us dard ko hum bhulaane lage,उस दर्द को हम भुलाने लगे

tab jaana..haan..Ye ishq hai, तब जाना....हाँ...ये इश्क है...

aur jab sunai,ye ghazal use, और जब सुनायी ये ग़ज़ल उसे,
jise ye sab ishq karne ke bahane lage, जिसे ये सब इश्क करने के बहाने लगे,

tab jaana ye ishq hai! तब जाना ये इश्क है!

Meanings:
majhdhaar:flowing river
zehan:in the mind
tanj:hesitation
shikan:hesitation

palken..

2009-03-20T18:50:00.001Z

Palken

this poem has literally occurred to me!
literally occurred.

darakhton ke beech se,woh jhaankti palke,
uthti palken,jhukti palken,
gir ke uthti,sambhalti palken,
dhoondhti hai,na jaane kaunsa nazara
door jhankti,woh khoyee si palken.

bikhare kaajal ka intehan ye palken,
ek shayar ki hai,sazza ye palken,
doobti ubharti sawarti palken,
par na jaane aaj kyun,
hain,num ye palken,num ye palken.

falak se zameen tak,taankti palken,
shaam ki chuppi mein gumsum si palken,
dilon ko cheerti,chalakti palken,
kuch kehne se khud ko rokti palken,
falakti palken,chalakti palken,
par na jaane kyun
phir bhi nam ye palken,
nam ye palken.

A biologists love...

2009-03-10T08:33:00.002Z

A biologists love

Teaching few 10th class students, some biology of the cell(which I myself, mugged up only a
few days before the exams),a very distant and weird thought hit me. Why is it that all cells
perform their duty?

There seem to me,2 answers for it...a utilitarian one and another one which is on a higher
plane(no..not (1,1,0)).

Doesn't it seem weird to you, how each cell endless and diligently performs it duties without fail? How cells remain in harmony, and yet help each other out in carrying out there own duties?

On a hilarious note, how would the thinking process of a cell work?
"Hi!yay!!great...i have been born out of one cell,say,by mitosis..

wohoo!i didn't know it by i have another brother of mine just round the corner..

oooh.not only one brother, but millions of them. and hey!they all look alike..

yaar,life mein kuch fun bhi hona chahiye..chalo..cancer kare!

*now the dilemma of life begins*
am i special? was i born to do a special task, since everyone of my so called

busy-in-their-own-task brothers are doing the same task that i am doing..still thinking..

dameet,its time to die...

tada!"

How is it that they all do their work so efficiently to make the body run so perfectly in sync?

And maybe they all get tired of our thanklessness towards them, that they start misbehaving
towards the end of life…or as we age?

One of the solution towards this dilemma is...

They do it just utalitarianly..

All the desire is only their own survival, own growth, own promotion(if there is any,in the cellular world),and their own propagation.

They are selfish, mindless freaks, who are rigid, move only as per their DNA commandments, to attain a successful cellular life.

In short, much like towards world, they do everything just for their own utility..for their own benefit..not thinking, for any communal/community cellular benefit.

Another point of view, would be to assume them to be carefree,yet caring,social beings,who are performing their duties out of love for the body, for the love of the well being of life and its sustenance.

They are true saints, selfless, being born and dying every second for our well being,our life..

Maybe they don't know it, that they do so for a common good, maybe they're just doing what they think is right, but still unknowingly, they are doing this out of love.

And,as concerns with me, I think this is theory I support.. out of love, shall all beings be born!

A few senti lines form Guna

2009-03-09T19:17:00.002Z

Had gone to JIET Guna for a college festival,where these lines struck me..

"khaakh mein mil jagoge,
kya reh jaaoge deewaano..

na dastaan thi tumhaari,
aur na koi dastaan rahegi.."

and another...

"If you can't thank people for what they are,atleast thank them for what they aren't!"

awww...senti ho gaya naa?

Mol.Bio..main ni!

2009-02-17T14:53:00.000Z

146 bp around the h2a,h2b,h3 and h4.
146:dr six.dr.sick?

kyunki doctor ka transfer hota rehta hai...
acyltransferases,methyltransferases,and kinases(phosphate transferases)

rest 74 bp.:car linker.

h3 and h4 remain most conserved.

histone acetylases:Hats and Hdacs deacetylases.
more effective on KS(evs waali..lysing and serine)..kyunki woh hat pehenti hai..

ye numbers yaad karo:3.4Armstrong,34 armstrong,20 armstrongs and 36degree per turn.

S=T+W

PTC...abhi itni hi bani hai..

2009-02-17T14:52:00.000Z

PTC

shabdaawali(terms to remeber):

haberlandt:father of tissue culture.
(icici par daddy ji(anupam kher of KKG)..with land ke papers)

white:successful long term culture of tomato roots
(1st hostel ke saamne,safed tomatoes)

morel and martin:culture of virus free dahlia through meristems
(Sac ke neeche.marty(maagascar?) making dalia)

miller and skoog:root:shoot,auxin:cytokinin
(tuck ke aage,uncle scrooge rate-io pooch re hain)

cocking:ezmyme,cell wall,protoplast
(nahi..main iska nahi bat sakta)

presentation:lab org and equipment

Cn=10^N X 9.1/d)^2.08

BSC1:collg waale cabinet with HEPA filter on exhaust.

BSC2:vertical waale,no volatle compund protection
dono jagah HEPA filter,input and exhaust.

type A:no vents,recirculated.
type b1:vented,30% exhausted,70% recirculated.
type b2:vented,all air exhausted.
type b3:70% exhausted,30% recirculated.

BSC 3:enclosed air tight,gloves,exhausted 2 hepa,

tetrazonium salts to red formazon:viable will be red.
evan's blue stain of dead
flourescein diacetate(FDA):green flourescein in viable.s

Caarname!

2009-01-15T18:03:00.000Z

College ke kaarnaame:

A few things happened in the college,or let me say,with some college people and though i hate to put it like this,I was the central joker in all.

Both of them,happened the same day,and lemme put them chronologically yet diplomatically:

1.I was coming back from Lakshmi nagar,after meeting a friend and was walking back from the bus stop to my place.As usually happens with people of my age,both of their eyes always fixed into their mobile phones.

I walked past a lady,and then..after a few(10) steps i realize..wasn't this esha's mum?

I turn around immediately,saying loudly,Namaste aunty(no..no..don't take me like that,i was in a good mood that day,that's why i took so much of pain).

She is bewildered..amazed at the loudness and the distance after which is spoke..and then says..namaste namaste..maine pehchaana ni.

By this time,I had a good look at her,and realize that she does ook like her mother,but then there's some change.

Chalo baal katwaa liye honge i think.Then i give her another look,a grim one this time..and she says,maybe terrified of my face and the absurdity of the situation..haan haan,ab pehchaan liya.

I was still away from my place,so walking back,i again started what my generation is best at.I typed a message:"chee esha,teri mummy ko maine namaste bol ke darrrra diya!".

Happily,I entered my house,thinking what a scene would it be when she asks her mum about this incident.

She replies:"ah...kab?kahan par?".I reply,"koi ni..kal bataunga".

And then,I start off with the paper,thinking what fun it would be to narrate this story to other people.

And suddenly,it occurs to me..both of her parents are out of town for the last one week!

2.Ye waala aur bhi mast tha!

I was to talk to my friends mum and convince her to send her(my frnd) to the college trip.

One of my "dangar" frnd gave me her mum's number,saying hat if he talks,her mum would even stop sending her to the college.SO fine,i say,i'll talk.

I call up one day,(no not so easily..just after much delibration and convincing and rehearsals myself),and ask on the phone for Mrs Day.

Her father picks up the phone,says she's not around and then,maybe because he was busy,cuts the phone without asking any further question about my identity or reason for calling..thankfully(for we are not so much acquainted with him,than her mum).

A few days later,again making up my mind(i had to think upon this and medidate for this.for 3 hrs..nah..kidding),i call on the same number again.Her dad agains picks up the phone.

I ask for Mrs Day,he says,she's not around..And this time...I was not so thankful.He asks,whom am i talking to,for what reason do you want to talk to her.

My mind slams up its breaks and all making up of mind seems only a touch up..I reply in hesitation..hi this is sameer...do you want insuance??

The gentleman replies...no not right now.Thank you.
phew..close shave...

Then we decide to call my frnd up and ask her to pass the phone to her mum.Sure shot,method this time.

imagine what would have happened if she would have said..mum to nahi hai..le papa se baat kar.

His dad replies:haan beta batao,kya bat hai..
me...ah..uncle...insurance??

Divine love

2009-01-08T17:59:00.001Z

ahem...ye kissi ke liye likhi thi...
mat poochna!!

her kohl underlined eyes,
as fresh as the mist,
from a morning flower,
elude and draw me,
into infinite ecstasy,
leave behind an afterglow
and a sweet scent
those mystic eyes,
leave me in a trance

I could but only
watch them with awe,
lost in their splendor
afraid,
to touch,
to see away,
lest they vanish,
in their mystic world

Did they forget some parts of the Ramayana?

2009-01-03T18:21:00.001Z

I hope everybody remebers the Ramayana.
This is the version,I was told in punjabi in my pre chidlhood years:

"Ram ji di 'nu' kho jandi hai,woh dhundhde hege,ravan le jaanda hega,phir oh hannuman te baandaraan di sahayata naal humla karde hege,lanka tut jaandi hegi,sita mil jaandi hegi"

But,story mein twist.The story missed out on some crucial points.Some very critical and far reaching discoveries:

1.It is well known that monkeys are always selfish.They'll never think about you or anybody around while snatching their valauable things or foods.At the same time,being simians,they are very fond of their and only their community.Place a langur before them,they won't give him any importance.

So,what did the story miss?The story missed this part:
"while every monkey from all over India were rushing towards rameshwaram,to help Shri Ram in building the bridge from this side to Lanka,and preparing for the consequent battle,
a few monkeys from maharashtra side,were very individualistic.they thought,he's an intelligent human being,let him find ways to do it all alone.Let us care for our community and our monkey kind".

Unfortunately,such moneyistic attitude gave them an advantage of not being wounded or killed in the battle of Lanka.And nature then mistakenly chose them to be the fittest over the rest.
They floursihed,spread their empire and even now they have got represntataives all over.

We still have some of them,still in their true colours,named and famed as..Raj Thackrey!

2.On the other side,the deamon king Ravana also just forgot to use some of his army.They were like his chief reserve force,expert in guirella warfare and spoke very fluent Lankan.

Along with other qualities of hatred,distrust and anarchy of daemons,they had the special quality to sustain their demand for their rights for a very very long period and were also very individualistic.

So they did not die,and prabhu Shri Ram also forgot to punish them.
They also came out to be prosperous,and still have their empire.

We still have them and their cousins around..the LTTE.

okay....maanta hun,these jokes were extremely lame,but...then what else could you expect from me?!
:B

Terror attack?haw....hun ki?

2008-12-17T18:23:00.001Z

Recently,4-6 darinde came to our country and showed us where we are and what we stood for.

Fine enough,they thought they were cool enough to barge into any hotel and start firing indiscriminately,and we thought we are also cool enough to shoot them down and plan a counter terrorist strategy.

We were exposed,they were exposed(and killed) and now we have great talks with all intellectuals participating and describing what happened,why it happened,who is to blame and what is to be done...blah blah..

Thats for what you see on tv.On your part,you did a candle light vigil,forwarded anti-(politicians,terrorist,Pakistan,everyone) messages,and now wait for the hotshots to take decision,while you check your mail and forward some more anti terror emails to other people.

I am not mocking any of this,because it is all happening for good..but then..how long?

bole to..this is all YOUR knee jerk reaction,your impetus decision,your at the moment way of venting out your anger.aur ab aage??

These knee jerk reactions are all but essential to make our politicians and government restructure,reorganize,recalibrate,redesign(and all other long words) our anti terror mechanism.
But on your part,are you living/doing/eating/sleeping/something to stop terror??

Seedhe saadhe sabdon mein beta..end mein....tum velle ho.(well most of us)

Ek kaam karo,is algorithm ko follow karo:
1.is ghatiya article ko padne ke baad,dimaag shant karo.
2.is article ke baare mein kissi aur ko batao.(cheap publicity)
3.kya ab aage bhi main hi batau?...ok ok...senti mat ho..
do this:
take a firm decision,to complete,or do something(anything) that has been lagging for long,that you always wanted to do,that you thought had talent to do,but never the time.

Use this attack as an opportunity,to complete anything that you always said you'll do later.
plant a tree,prepare a dance,write a book,give some money to charity,spend some time with some NGO,paint,shoot a video,visit a new place,start loving more..start smiling at strangers...

In short,do something,that is creative,that shall spread love.
You need not specially chose the theme to be terrorism or violence.Just express your talent.

kyunki bidu..(the line for which i wrote this whole article)...
Its only absence of love that has made these things happen..

to kya khayal hai?
(chee sameer,tujhse bakwaasss article koi ni likh sakta)

Moongphali mein daana nahi...

2008-12-16T19:07:00.000Z

ok so a few jokes..roaming in my mind...jo acche waale hain..

1.we recently gave out an ad in the newspaper for renting out the ground floor.

Aisa nahi hai ki humne puraane kiraye daar ko bahut pareshaan kiya ho,ya uske ghar pe na

hote hue,uska fridge khola ho,ya fridge khol kar uski Us se laayee gayi,Lindt choclate

khayee ho,ya uska kuch samaan gaayab kiya ho...bas woh aise hi chchod kar jaa raha hai...

So we get calls from morning till evening..and guess what...every call we ask:
"aap party hain ya broker?"
(khosla ka ghosla..joke??)
2.I was stading at andrews ganj bus stop.trynig to act lazy by not walking to Ansal

plaza,while it is just a few metres away and trying to find a way via bus to that place.
pehle bande se poocha...

bhaiya..ye ansals ke liye?
he says...catch a bus numbered 413..
fine..thanku bhaiya.aur koi?
aur hain to sahi..par pata nahi.
ok..thanku bhaiya..

saamne ek aunty khadi ho kar moongphali khayee jaa ri thi..mennu chadi khundak...issliye ni

ki woh mujhse pooch ni rahi thi..isliye kyunki..ahem..woh chilke neeche pahen rahi thi..chee

aunty..

me goes upto that aunty..
Aunty..ye ansal plaza ke liye kaise jaaye?
aunty:beta..ye kahan par hai?

me:aunty bas mud kar hi hai..ye yahan se left turn..
aunty:to beta paidal chale jao..

me:aunty phir bhi...matlab joo bhi bas left mudegi...sab jaayengi..
aunty:haan...hmm...*cracks moongphali*...*eats it*...hmmm..*chews it*..hmm...accha..413

number bas..
me:ok aunty.thanku.
moongphali acchi hai?
aunty:*bewildered**still cracking moongphali with teeth*...hmm..acchi hai..
me:aap chilke neeche ni phainko gi to aur acchi lagegi!!

ye hai biochem...kamino acids...

2008-11-23T09:31:00.000Z

Urea cycle:
bicarbonate->carboxyphosphate->carbamic acid->carbomoyl phosphate
carbomoyl phosphate synthetase
(ac block)

actual cycle:

carbomyl phos+ornithine->citrulline
ornithine transcarbomylase

citrulene+asparate->argininosuccinate - fumerate->arginine
argininosuccinate sythetase
argininosuccinase

arginine+urea->ornithine
arginase

argininosuccinate->fumarate

deficiencies:

brain swelling due to excess of glutamine

argininisuccinase def.
excess agrinine is supplied.per molecule of arginine,2 nitrogen excreted.

carbomoyl phosphate synthase def,or ornithine transcarbomoylase def.accumulates as glycine

and glutamine
benzoate and phenylacetate

Benzoyl CoA->hippurate
(all out,photo,paper,plug pt.)
phenylacetate->phenyl acetyl CoA->phenyl acetyl glutamine

uricotelic:purine uric acid.

entry points:
pyruvate:SAC GWOT(har jyot)
serine,ala,cysteine, glycine,typtophan,threonine

OAA:aspartate,asparagine
DN
DoN

alpha keto glutarate:herp(es) q
HERP Q
histadine,glutamine,glutamate,arginine,proline

Succinyl CoA
MoVIe
Mehtionine,valine,Isoluecine

alcaptonuria:homogentisate
all caps:homo(dostana) gents

maple syrup:KIVi
leucine,valine,Isoluecine

Phenylketonuria:phenylalanine hydroxylase

hydroxy laces?

u asked for it...fermentation(micro)

2008-11-22T06:32:00.000Z

fermentation
EM pathway
at..bikanerwaala

homolactic:entry of bikaner waala,wahan par doodh mil raha hai.
mixed acid:ground floor k counter par,banda cocktail bana raha hai aur pooch ra hai,tezab kitna daalu?

butanediol:ice cream counter par,sunny deol(diol) ka cut out hai.acetoin:sunny deol is toying with the acid.

butyric acid and butanol acetone:paani peene ki jagah par,tyre pada hua hai,glasses ko bandhne ke liye.

propionic acid:dosa counter par,bahut saare pans pade hue hain...jo unusual se hain...

phosphoketolase:first floor par,counter par,bahut saare keet patange hain,jo ud rahe hain aur cashier ko pareshan kar rahe hain.
G3p(GAP) and acetyl phosphate...cashier ne GAP ki shirt pehni hai aur uske peeche ke menu board par,acid tiles lagi hui hain.

ED pathway:
at the loo waali jagah,first floor.KDPG..pareshaan karne waale keede(KeeDe) tumhaare peeche aa jaate hain into the loo..u run to harjyot paagi(PG) for help.

learn micro...the bakwass way..

2008-11-19T06:20:00.002Z

dunno..but wrote this up to learn the calvin cycle and green non sulfur bacteria.

green S bacteria:

reverse T?CA cycle
citrate lyase.
all other enzymes are same.

green non S
hydroxy propionate pathway
place:LRC top floor

kone ki table->books ki lift->computers->ingraham waala rack->aunty ki seat->moveable rack->andar ka kamara->side ke rack->sheeshe ke doors

acetyl CoA
kone ki table:acid with tiles.

malonyl CoA
lift:melons

5 steps
computers:5 corresponds to a hook,u re typing ont the keyborad using a hook

propionyl CoA
rack:ye bahut ganda hai...baban oil?pappan oil?propan oil?

Methyl malonyl CoA
aunty:methanol ki min khaa ri hain..baalon mein tel laga hua hai..

Succinyl CoA
chota rack:lollipop...??

3 steps
andar ka kamra:3->heart.andar hearts rugery happens for people who get heart attacks after visiting the LRC for the first time.

Malyl CoA
bade rack:mal....ek detective ki meeting...maal kahan laana hai?centre ke do racks ke beech mein.

glyoxalate
seeshe ka darwaaza:gaai and ox bandhe hue hain tot the seeshe ka darwaaza...maaawww...

cyanobacteria and purple bacteria

RubisCo and phosphoribulokinase

place:g9 ke bahar
mitti ki jagah,jahan pohe lagte kum aur ukhaade jyaada jate hain->kopcha->g9 ka gate->regulator(jo bech mein se toota hua hai)->teacher table->projector->dosri side ke switch->doosri side ka gate->bada waala gat jo khula rehta hai,jo orange colour ka hai->fire ka cupboard

Ribulose-1,5-bisphosphate(RuBP)
(rubisco)
miiti:rubis pade hue hain wahan par,aur 1(danda) ke aage 5(hook) laga kar tum unhe doondh rahe ho.

2X 3phosphoglyceric acid
Kopcha:aape apne ghar ke guests ko wahan baithaya hai,and u r saying..dil(3) ka sharbat peejiye..

1,3 bisphosphoglycerate
gate:gate par bhabhi ji kadi hain..aap unse kehte hain,bhabhi ji aap bhi peejiye..(BPGA)

glyceraldehyde 3 phosphate
regulator:regulatoron ne ek hip hop gang banaya hai and they r wearing GAP t shirts.

dihydroxy acetone phosphate
(dhap)teacher table:teacher ko peeche se aake u say Dhappa!

fructoSe 1,6 bisphosphate
projector ke upar fruits pade hain and u r trying to bring them down using a danda..while the teacher behind you coms up with a hockey stick to take his revenge.

fructose-6-phosphate
doosri side ke switch mein tum hockey stick kmaar maar k andar chipe fruits ko bahar nikaane ki koshish kar rahe ho.

glucose
momentary relief ke liye,tum doore side ke gate par glucon d ka khaali carton chipka dete ho.

ribulose-5-phosphate
rubies se jada hua orange gate.aur uspar hook laga kar log rubis chura re hain.

how to black mail your teachers...

2008-11-16T18:15:00.000Z

Now this is really true...this is what we did plan to do when we were sick of waiting for hours(half hour) for our turn in the biotechnology experiment.

There's an apparatus called the laminar flow,just to keep the air inside it sterile.Since we have 3 such things in our college(which is still great,comparing to other colleges),we still have to wait while our turn comes up to use it.

So,the way we devised was very simple.a few phone calls,a few sim cards and peace of mind.

Step 1.
look for your teachers keys lying on the table around the lab.

Step 2.steal it.

now comes the fun part..
call up your teacher from the cold room(every biotech lab has one,in order to keep things which we have already spoit,unspoiled).Say to her in a heavy voice..

"aapka chaabi ka guccha humaare pass hai.agar gucche ki salaamati chahte ho,to chup chap group 4 ko sabse pehle experiment karne do."

teacher will reply:tumhe jo chahiye wo le lo,bas mere challe ko kuch mat karna.

you:jyaada hoshaari dikhaane ki koshish ki to tumhaari challe ke tukde tukde kar ke washing room me chupa denge.agali awaaz tumhaare challe ki hogi...

place the key ring in front of the handset and shake it..

teacher:nahiiii....

you:hmm...agali baar phone karke batayenge ki challa kahan aur kab milega.

move out of the cold room,see her reaction,see how many people are left to do the experiment.you suddenly see her talking to the lab assistant.

you call up again:hmm...tumhe kahan nahi tha jyaada hoshiyaari karne ki koshish ki to..
ab tumhaare challe se tumhaari gaadi ki chabi..

remove the key marked "maruti" from the challa.

teacher:nahiii...mere gaadi ki chaabi nahi!

you:to kyun ki itni hoshiyaari?chup chap experiment ka samaan le kar,cold storage mein aa jao.Aur is baar kissi lab assistant ya HOD ko iktila kari to...

teacher:haan haan theek hai..

By the time,she comes to the cold storage,you leave the chaabi ka challa there,move to the laminar flow,do your experiment(by this time,everyone would have done theirs,and youd've had your fun),
ask some doubts to the lab assistant(to appear innocent and completely interested),and then while your teacher is inside the cold room,lock her from outside!!

easy na!

courtesy:fankee(ankit) and words by sameer..

The real story behind karwa chauth!

2008-10-17T17:01:00.002Z

okies...so amny of you want the real thing,the hidden story behind karwa chauth...here it is,direct from a kavi sammelan in Noida

It goes like this:

Once,The owl,the vehicle of goddess lakshmi,got very irritated.. He was very sad and agonized at the same time.How could they?Why should they?were the questions roaming in his mind..

Goddess Lakshmi asked him,Whats ur problem?
Thus he spoke:

The vehicles of all gods are worshiped with their festivals.Vishnu ji's vehicle is worshiped,Shankar ji's vehicle is worshiped,even Ganesh ji's vehicle is worshiped...but never me.No body ever cares to worship me.

So goddess Lakshmi said okay,my dear vehicle.I'll look into the matter.She called an all party meeting in the heaven and everybody discussed the issue.
Finally the matter was decided..

Thus she spoke:
Okay,The owl,my vehicle.So you have it.You know that I am worshiped on Diwaali,every year,by one and all...
So lets have this,You shall be worshiped by all women..just a few days before diwaali..

and thus the festival of karwa chauth was born!
(pun intented)!!

A Hitch Hikers Guide to Akshardham

2008-10-06T18:53:00.000Z

So there must be a lot of the college people who always wondered what the great temple that stands at the corner of noida more(or patpatganj) is all about.

And there might be another lot who had been there with other college people who also wondered so.

This article is for the first category,though there are no fines for the second category to read it.

Related to fines:there are a lot of rules and regulations regarding the entry of akshardham temple.you should not carry,ANY electronic item inside,neither any eatables except a bottle of water(if that is an eatable) or a small wallet.

If you still do bring along any of the prohibited items,they might be thrown in the dustbin(if you do not care) or might be kept in the always busy with huge lines cloak room(if you do care).

Most of the weekends,the temple is busy with people like us,roaming around,or people unlike us shoving bombs into the dustbins(mind you the security at the temple is air tight,you undergo a lot a tests(no not for doping)..and its for your safety).

So better go on weekdays,but NOT on a monday.(no its not about your solah(16) somvaar vrat..the temple is closed).

The best outfit to go in is a kurta payjaama.no lungis,no shorts.

the kurta makes ur entry inside the premises really easy and fast.Though a jeans and tee,non objectionable, no revealing, would be fine too.

Ladies,better wear a suit,though well covering tops and jeans are allowed.

Plenty of food joints inside serving khaman dhokla(they are gujratis)(15 bucks) and yummy sandwiches(35 bucks)(though the cost is a bit high..and higher for those who are able to live on a plate of maggi per day).

You can either roam around the temple and then come back or make your time worthwhile and enlightening(yes i do get commission for this)..by watching the exhibtion,about the story of Swami Narayan(no guesses for who he was..i'll give you a hint..the temple is called Swami Narayan Akshardham)

The exhibition costs 125 bucks per banda/bandi.but is really worth it.(you can imagine i have been there 3 times).

It includes a animated series of stories,an automated boat ride and a movie on the IMAX theater.(no its not Sinnnggh is kiinngg)

pay rs 20 extra for a great light and music fountain show, happening at 7:15 pm.(you can go to the temple only for this too. separate tickets for the fountain show are available)

And while going out..do not miss out the souvenir shop near the canteen. It sports great tees for 150 to 250 bucks..cds for 40rs.and nice souvenirs to gift at reasonable prices.

The best way to reach the temple is by catching a rs 10 auto to patpatganj from the chowki near the collg.and then taking a rs 15 rickshaw to the temple.

and if youre going with a team, make sure you return before 8 since the auto's are a scarce after this time.

So I summarize:
reach by auto,catch a rickshaw.
No eatable,gadgets,lighteretc. indside.Carry the minimum.
Small wallets are allowed. NO big purses/bags.
Plenty of eateries inside.
You can either see the temple and/or the exhibition.
Musical fountains is gud too.
PRAY THAT THE COLLG CAFE FOOD IS MADE ATLEAST EATABLE.

Since I enjoy people staying on my blog for a long time,i again repeat, some things not to forget:

Make your trip on weekdays. weekends will see you waiting for at least 2 hours, for entry into the exhibition, and that too you need to get ur tickets time stamped.(seriously)

Carry minimum amount of extras(big purses,bags,phones(there's a booth inside)).You don't want trips to the cloak room be your only parikrama.

Make sure you have the parikrama of the main shrine.the elephant carving is really worth a watch.
Best go in winters. and NOT on a MONDAY.

MOST IMPORTANT:Pay me a commission if you liked the temple.s Pay me in cash or kind at the bikaner waala,even if you didn't enjoy.

aao TCA yaad karein

2008-09-29T14:49:00.003Z

TCA cycle:

1.pyruvate+ CoA+NAD+ -> acetyl CoA+co2+NADH

pyruvate dehydrogenase

E1:pyruvate dehydrogenase complex,TPP(thiamine pyrophosphate),oxidative decarboxlation of pyruvate.

E2:dihyroxylipoyl transacetylase,lipoamide,tranfer of acetly to CoA.

E3:dihyroxy lipoyl dehyrogenase,FAD,regeneration of oxidized lipoamide.

place:the playing ground

E1:badminton court

paru is waiting with hydrogen cylinders tied to his back.he's playing badminton,peeche se bharoon aake kehta hai...TaPPu!paru gives himthis-is-badminton-not-basketball-looks.

E2:tennis court
2 botal paani(1 on each pole of the net) aur ek lolipop(in the centre of the net) padi hai tennis court mein.
dihyroxy lipoly

aur phir bobby darling with acetic acid aati hai,to play tennis.
transacetylase.

E3:basketball court
dihyroxy lipoyl dehydrogenase.

simply:decarb->transfer of acetyl->lipoyl ki marammat by hydrogen to FAD,then to NAD.

2.the cycle:

from:lt3->boys lu->generator waali jagah->mandir->fountain->buletin board->uniform shop->photcopy place

lt3:citrate,synthase.

entry of LT2 turned into a huge citrus fruit,orange ya lemon.
aur lemon ke bagal mein,synth par,bahut tez tez moozic baja raha hai.(synthase)

boys lu:isocitrate,acotinase

me sleeping in the boys room(i so).
with me is Acon,wohi gande gaane gaane waala.

generator room:alpha keto glutarate,dehydrogenase

since the generator waali jagah is undergound,as you open its door,bahoot saare keet makoode slam into your face.aur tum neeche jhank ke dekte ho..you see a lot of water in it.(hydro)

madir:succinyl CoA,dehydrogenase

mandir mein prashad mein sabko lolipop milti hai to suck.
of course,yahn bhi dhaer saara paani hai.that has come from a well(kuan)(CoA)

Fountain:succinate,sythetase

fountain pe nate log(dg,beeps and riccha) are eating a lolipop.(succinate)

peehce background music for this grand event is being done by bharoon standing insde the fountain,on sythesizer,teasing all of them.

buletin board:fumerate,dehydrogenase

bultein board pe bahut saare logon ko crucify kara gaya hai,but unmein se sirf kuch(few) hi mare hain.

and you revve the survivors using water(dehydrogenase)

uniform shop:malate,fumarase

a few people are counting money(maal) outside the uniform shop.
unme se kuch,mar jaate hain.ginte ginte.

photocopy shop:oxaloacetate,dehydrogenase

photocopy waale bhaiya ke pass,ek bael(ox) khadi hai.
aur woh usko paani pilaane ko aapko bol rahe hain.

Regulation:

1.at pyruvate dehydrogenase.

swithed off when energy charge is high

- acetyl CoA,ATP,NADH activate kinase.
+ ADP,Pyruvate,,NAD+(deactivate kinase) Ca2+ activate phosphatase.

2.Isocitrate dehydrogenase
+ADP
-ATP,NADH

3.Alpha keto glutarate
-succinyl coa,NADH,ATP

Arsenite poisoning
arsenite ind to e2.
BAL(2,3 dimercaptopropanol)(23(neem)DMP)(dimpy naam ki ladki) used to relieve the arsenite.

glyoxylate cyle
Acetate+CoASH+ATP->Acetly CoA+AMP+ppi

cit->isocit->glyoxylate->malate->OAA->cit
acotinase,isocitrate lysase,matale synthase,malate dehydrogenase,citrate synthase

saare GLUT's ke naam

2008-09-29T14:49:00.001Z

once again:
1=danda
2=duck
3=heart
4=chair
5=hook
6=hockey
7=bread pakora(non cafe waala)
8=chasma
9=lolipop

GLUT:glutton yaani babban,FANKEE,bharoon and sameer
all this in front of LRC

GLUT1 and 3:basal uptake of glucose.

sameer ke paaron(base) pe glucose girta hai aur woh apne aap hi paero se "saukh"(absorb) liya jaata hai.the he says i am full..

then...ek "dande" se apne "dil" par ghae ghae karta hai.

GLUT 2:liver and pancreas.
liver se glucose uptake badhaana.(removes glucose from blood)
pancreas se insulin nikalwaana.

glut 2 matlab baban jiske sar par "duck" hai.
and he holds and appliation for "leave"r aur sameer ko dekhte hi usne appication andar daal li,of course bag mein.(uptake of glucose)

aur phir andar se usne ek pan(creas) nikaala aur sameer ke sir pe dee maara..jisse uska ghae ghae band ho gaya.sameer thanks babban.

GLUT 4:muscle and fat cells.

bharoon(GLut 4) jo ki "chair" pe baitha hai kyunki woh thak gaya hai,aur usko bhook lagi hai aur jo apne dolle(muscle) dikha raha hota hai aur naina se dolle compare kar raha hota hai
baban(yaani insulin) ko dekh kar ek dam khada ho jaata hai.

GLUT 5:primary fructose transporter
fankee,pirate waala "hook",lekar sabke baag check karta hai..for apple(fructose hota hai na usme).

learn glyconeo

2008-09-29T14:47:00.000Z

farak b/t nea and glycolysis:

subsrate:add OAA

enzymes:(stored in computer lab entry)(computer-->matrix-->neo??)
1.pyruvate carboxylase:lockers,
paru wait carbon copy ke saath.

2.PEP carboxykinase
PEPCK
:biochem lab ka door jo kabhi nahi khulta,
registrar giving "pep" talk,to cutta kameena(me and fankee)

3.F16BPtase
:boys,loo ki entry,
wahan par fan ke ek fresher ko exhaust fan par latka kar,tasing,oops teasing ho ri hai.

4.G6Ptase
balcony,
glucose ki kami ke karan,teasing karte hue bande,thak kar neeche gir jaate hain.

haan pata hai,marne peetne ki baat jab tak na aaye tab tak mazza kahan aata hai.

entry points yaad karne ka tareeka:
computer lab ke andar

1.lactate(doodh)
at:entry karke right ko jo board aata hai uspar.doodh gira hua hai.
aur woh board "kora"(blank tha...)tabhi wahan par "cori" cycle hoti hai.

muscle
G->P->L
liver:
l->P->G
6 atp lagte hain,6=>hockey stick.board ke side mein ek hockey stick padi hui hai.uspar likha hai,incase of yamuna,use hockey stick.

2.amino acid
except luesine,lysine:leusingh is king,ly has seen it all.

place:register,jispar sign karna padta hai,jo ek printer ke upar pada rehta hai.

Muscle
G->P->ala
alanine transaminase.
(trans=>bobby darling,whan kar printer par batihi/baitha hua hai)

Liver:
Ala->urea(potty jokes)
(i won't say it,nahi to tum log meri jaan khaa jaoge,but you can understand,how to relate bobby darling to potty)
ala->p->G

3.Glycerol
at:the gaurds who sits in the comp lab,abhi tak pata ni chal paaya kyun baithta hai.

glcerol->glycerol phospate->Dhappa!
so the gaurd has been sitting there for so long that in order to preserve him,we put glycerol over him.
and since wo wahan par bade dino se batiha hota hai,gas to banegi hi..so phospate:fusfate.

aur phir usko jagaane ke liye ek banda peeche se usko dhappa karta hai!

kinase,dehydrogenase.

4.Propionate

at:the room where all the teachers sit in the coputer room.

propionyl CoA->D-methylmalonyl CoA->L-methylmalonyl CoA->Succinyl CoA

PC->DMC->LMC->SC

melon oil!

PC lekar baithe bande,MCD(bulldozer) ke intezaar mein,
kahat "L"aalu(see me as the operator of bulldozer) suno bhayee c2,socks(soccinyl CoA) ke bazar mein.
(meri socks ki badu se bulldozer ki zarooratni padi!)
(haan haan marle gande jokes,aur kab mauka milega tujhe??)

enzymes:carboxlyase,epimerase,mutase.

learn Glycogenolysis and glycogenlysis

2008-09-29T14:46:00.000Z

Glycogenolysis

4 steps in biotech labs.

1.glycogen phosphorlyase
glycogen+pi->g1p+Glycogen

at:VAC.
VAc ko khola to usmein se bahut saari badbu(fus) bahar aayi and uske andar bahut saara fur

rakha hua tha,jo ek dande(1) par latka hua tha.fusfur.

2.debranching:
mol bio ki lab entry par,jahan humein microbio ke paper dikhaaye gaye the.

phoshorylase stops 4 residues prior to the 1,6 link.

tranferase:transfers 3 residues
alpha-1,6-glucosidase releases the single glucose unit.
hexokinase phophorylates it.

stop->tranfer->release->fusfur.
1.so as you were going to the biochem lab,you stop at the mol bio lab and say:whats it?

2.andar jaa kar,you see ki sink ke pass,kissi teacher ka tranfer order pada hua hai.

3.you were happy ki ye biochem teacher ka hai,but then see ki ye to agle saal ka hai.so you

release it.you release it to the other side,sidase.

4.the room suddenly became smelly(fus) and you decide to go away as the lab ass comes to

with a hockey stick.(6=>hexokinase)

(ab mujhe mat kehna,what can i do,jab phosphorlyation ka fus hi ban paata hai)

3.phosphogluco mutase
g1p->g6p.

cold storage mein,GMO 39 pada hua hai.woh mutant variety hai.

4.G6p->g+pi
done by glucose 6 phoshatase.
transported out by GLUT 2.

how dearly you wish ki biochem lab phat jaaye,with all teachers inside.

Von girke's disease

lack of glucose-6-phosphatase.
so glucose-6p cannot be released as glucose into the blood.

glycogenesis

from washing areain biotech labs to the mtech labs.

overall reaction
glycogen(n)+UDP-glucose->glycogen(n+1)+UDP
by glycogen synthase

by the idea of Hi(a teacher..name confidential) the washing area would also serve as a south

indian resturant.so uska naam udippi(UDP) rakh diya gaya.wahan ki main dish glucond hoti

hai.aur peehce music dene ke liye synthsizer(synth) ka bhi ue kiya jaa raha hai.

part of reactions:

UTP+glucose->UDP glucose+PPi
by UDP glucose pyrophosphorylase

thermo labki entry pe.spagetti hair khada hai(wohi tissue paper and water waala,jiski beti

ki shaadi thi).
uske bete ka Unit test(UT-P) aane waala hai,to woh uski copy le kar khada hai.aur fankee k

paer("pyro"phosphatase) padta hai,to teach his son some english.(what did you just said?)

PPi->2Pi
by inorganic pyrophosphatase
instumentation lab ki entry par,woh dantne waala lab ass khada hai(wahi jiske saamne bharoon

ne psst pss..idhar aa kiya tha).

so you say to him to let you "in",aur sirf itna sunte hi woh bhi tumhaare paer par gir

kar,phat jaata hai.

branching is done by glycosyl-(4-6)-transferase
at:jahan par pittete rakhe hote hain.

us pippete stand emin ek jagah hockey(6) padi hoti hai,aur ek jagah chair(4),to teacher aake

bolti hai,uko interchange kardo,i.e.,transfer kardo,kyunki woh khud ni kar sakti,unke ghar

mein koi "ill"(glyco"syl")hai.

new glycogen cannot be formed without primer.
primer banaane ka enzyme:glycogenin

mircowave par zung lagne lagta hai to uspar primer(red colour ka paint hota hai) uski ek

layer lagayee jaa ri hai.aur nina(naina) painting kar ri hai.

maarna mat..glycolysis

2008-09-25T15:43:00.001Z

okies..isme mnemonics(memory ke drame) ka ek aur method use hoga for digits..called shape number method..based on similarity of shapes with digits..like:

6=hockey stick
1=danda
3=heart
2=duck

abhi k liye inna hi...

the glycolysis cyle as follows:

maggi corner to lrc
Glucose(G)
glucon d ka dabba at maggie corner.maggie mein glucon d dal raha hai.

G6p
gate par.hockey kehl rahe hain humaare gaurds.

f6p
oat.hockeyeeyaan lati hui hai on the 'F'ans

f16p
administration ka office.fans par danda and hockey dono.

g3p+dhap
std booth.

dhappa khelte hue log.ek ko lag jaati hai and he starts crying using glycerine(glyceraldehyde) ke jhoote aansoon.sko ulti aane lagti hai..aur woh "heart" pe haath maar maar kar..ghae ghae karne lagta hai.

13bpg
main area mein baithne waale phatte.
ek danda lekar,heart surgery ho ri hai.
fankee kar raha hai.

3pg
photocopy ke side ji jagah.heart pada hua hai,aur woh minnat kar raha hai ketan se ki use hostel mein rehne de,kyunki woh "PG" mein rehte rehte bore ho gaya hai.

2pg
photocopy ki dukaan.ek battak photocopy machine ke oopar baithi hai.

pep
notice bored.registrars message giving some "pep" talk!

p
lrc ke gate par.paru..(c3) waala is waiting.
paru wait!

alchol fermentation
p>A>Eth
pyruvate decaroxylase
alcohol dehyrogenase

lactic acid fermentation
p>lactate
lactate dehydrogenase.

entry points for fructose and galactose

fructose
1.f>f1p>g+dhap>g3p+dhap
fructokinase,frucose-1-phosphate aldolase,triose kinase.

i stored this in my almirah.
bottom most khaana,to top most "parchatti".
fan,fan danda,rota hua baccha(glyceraldehyde),rota hua baccha with ghae.

2.galactose
gal>gal-1-p>UDP gal>UDP glu

4 drawers:
galla(tijori),galla danda,udippi(south indian galla),udippi glucon d.

galactokinase,galactose 1p uridyl transferase,UDP gal 4 epimerase.

g-1-p->g-6-p
phosphoglucomutase

chee sameer!

lecture ke chutkule!

2008-09-12T17:38:00.001Z

aaj ke jokes:

1.varun waala mast!

bacchon ko daaraane ke liye mostly kehte hain...bahar mat jaana nahi to baba aa jayega.

to ek baar,aise hi ek bacche ko bachpan mein khoob daraya gaya.
jab woh bada ho gaya,uski shaadi ho gayee,

tab uski biwi usse kehti...
mujhe kahin ghumaane bahar le chalo

banda:nahi..bahar nahi jaana..baba aa jayega.

biwi:nahi..nahi..woh to bachpan mein hota tha..tumhe daraane ke liye.ab tum bade ho gaye ho.

banda:to kya hua?BABA bhi to bada ho chuka hoga.

2.pd waala

the teacher scheduled an extra class on monday 5-6.to some of our people protested ki mam hum logon ko 2 baje free ho jaana hota hai..

how we protested:

mam,hum to aapko apna samajte the.aisi baatein apno ko shobha nahi deti.

3.mast waala fanky ka...

biochem mein,ek baby ki photo thi,and uska poora digestive system bata rakha tha.she was explaining about lactose intolerance.

teacher wanted us to read the slide and then tell..

beta ye kya hai?

fankee:baaaaaaaby!

then she said...ki when lactose intolerant ppl,take some form of lactose,

some part of it gets accumulated in the digestive tract and then due to the microbial culture in the intestine,it gets rotten away to produce gastrointestinal problems..

me and fanky look to each other..and say to cut a long story short...

GAS!!

A tribute to the original linguist!

2008-08-31T18:42:00.003Z

Ever wondered from where do the gracious words like fundoo,todu,fodu,rapchick,dhaakad and many others come from.

I think i just came across the source,the fountains of such words.

They are simply you and me,but rewinded a few years backwards.For some it will be rewinded many years backwards.

They are children below the ages of 5,at their creative best.

When i listen to such children calling,a computer,adum.
When i listen to such children calling,sleep,nina.
calling pen,mann.nature's call,chicha.
going to lu,as su.
calling nani,nun.calling food,khau.
calling chewing food as kattu kattu.
water,mum.

calling opening something(kholna),as lolo.
calling sitting down(beutho),as te to.
anything which is double,as tutu.

And another calling rain as appa mum mum.
and yet another calling loo,as vivi.

And the most amazing children singing,Bulla ki jaana main kaun,by Rabbi Shergil,

as "Bulla se shana(smarter) kaun?"

i am forced to think,who the real geniuses are!

How to get anwers out of the inviglator while in an exam.

2008-08-31T18:18:00.002Z

This one was about to happen in our microbio exam.one invigilator was from the same field,and though not mentioned but there were multiple answers,to the questions.

Now as it happens with such questions,you don't know which question has more than one answer and which doesn't.

here's a technique to differentiate.

call up on the teacher(invigilator) from the same field.

Ask her:

"madamji,matlab isme ek se jyaada answers hain?"

teacher:"beta,aapko jo samajh aata hai aap kariye.Haan paper mein kuch questions mein ek se jyaada answers hain."

You:"Ni ni..madam.aap samjhi nahi.matlab,ye waala jo question paper hain,usmein ek se jyaada answers hain?"

teacher:beta aap jo sahi samjhte hain kariye.

you:mam aap samjh ni rahi.paper mein to hain.main aapse pooch raha hun,ki ISS question mein multiple answers hain ki nahi??

madam:beta paper mein jo question hain aap dhyaan se padiye,phir asnwer kijiye.

you:yaar is aurat ko koi samjh jao.padi likhi ho,ek baar mein baat samjh nahi aati.main pooch raha hoon...ISS question mein multiple answers hian ya nahi?.

teacher:speechless.

you:yaar isko teacher kisne bana diya.baidi bhuddhi...ab saanp soongh gaya?Main kya pooch raha hoon aapse..aur kya jawaab de rahi ho.

teacher:(starts going away)

you:"nahi nahi..ji,aap to bura hi maan gayee...aapke saath to ghar waali baat hai..beta kya kar raha hai aapka?accha accha...12th ki tyaari hai.IIT ka to paper is baar easy hi tha.Accha achaa....coaching kahan se le raha hai...accha ji accha..badia hai."

A dose of aldoses!

2008-08-27T15:14:00.001Z

rasta dekho from icici bank to g9 ka.
har padaav pe ek ek cheez rakhte jao.

erthyrose(earthworm se erthy..icici bank ke upar se necche se..har jagah se..gaurd bhaiya ko dhakte hue..dekho isko..properly...)

threose(teen log vermicomposting bin pe lage huein hain...teen=three)(accha ji teen three hota hai?)

ribose(SAC ke neecche ribose ka room hai)

arabinose(ek "arab" aadmi us ribose ke room mein batiha hua hai)

xylose("xyls" ki ghadi pehne tuck shop waale bhaiya...chuttaa maang rahe hain)

lyxose(tum unse "lux" saabun maagte ho)

allose(allu..naina aur bharoon mein aaloo fight chal ri hai tuck se saamne baithne ki jagah par)

altrose(alto gaadi aa jandi hai tiffin room ke pass)

glucose(glucon d milta hai cafe mein)

mannose(mann-nose...yessss waale bhaiya..unki naak dekhi hai?)

gulose(gulabo..ek ladki paraanda hilaati hui grls hostel ke saamne se nikalti hai)

idose(sammer asks any body to give "eye dose" while at fountains)

galactose(sameer ke gande jokes pe sab uska "gala" pakad lete hain and take hm to photocpy machine)

talose(talli hoke saare ke saare g9 pahunchte hain..)

chee sameer...pehle to gande jokes sirf bolta tha..ab likhna bhi shuru??
aye haye!

aaj ki hoya!

2008-08-25T17:28:00.000Z

here's what happened today:

1.biochem ji taught us lipids 2.not very tough.lecture net pe daal ditta hai:
http://flyupload.flyupload.com/?fid=883055969a

2.No other class was atended.pd waali said ki she was going to teach bout 2 other types of elasticity,naam ni yaad.

3.ab asli baat...
govinda govinda said:paper would be easy.he doesnot like tough papers.one conceptual ques,few simple numericals,differentaition based 2-3 derivations.max question of 6 marks.6 parts.

hehe..biochem ji told us,do fat soluble vitamins..bole to KEDA.

funnay part:Library waala burped in front of ankit(and me too burped(louder),hehe no body noticed).
i asked what is the full form of tee ee em ee deee??
fanky:TEMED!!a

chee fanky!

and me taugt fankee and baban and BHAROOON..aldoses!!!yay!
strucure and funtions...
yay!
arab waala banda with lyxs ki gadi selling alloooo

Bachna aye hasseno

2008-08-16T18:01:00.002Z

Now my brother came home watching this pig of a movie
and this is how he explained to me how it went:

"Pehle part mein story nahi thi...

doosre part mein humein parwah nahi thi!"

:)B

How to enter your class after being expelled?

2008-08-14T14:39:00.003Z

Recently,being denied attending a class,being only 5 minutes late,due to another teacher who held up for long(no,really we don't study this much,ahh...we were on the phone),we sat upon thinking what could we do,using horse sense to enter the class
at any cost.

I'll refer to my teacher as Sir.

The sequential algorithm for entering the tut class at Ts10(Tutorial room 10) is:

1.Poke in your head and ask,Sir may I come in?.You'll get your answer as no.
Wait for 2 minutes.Poke in your head again and this time say,Sir may I come in please?and make faces that'll give cute puppies a complex.

If step one fails:

2.Enter the class with all might.Open the door wide and go on walking to take a seat.The teacher says,"You boy".Act as if you can't listen and speak."ah?ah ha?ahaha?".

The teacher repeats,you repeat.Continue until the teacher says"ok for gods sake have seat".
You have a seat.You:Thank you sir.

The teacher is perturbed and asks how could you listen to that line?
You again go on"ah?ah ha?ahaha?".

3.Throw a stone wrapped letter from outside.The letter says:

"Aapki beti humaare paas hai.Jyaada chalaaki dikhaane ki zaroorat nahi hai,nahi to aapki beti ke tukde tukde kar ke,hmm....hm....
ok,baaki baatein baad mein.Humein andar aane do."

The teacher screams from inside"I don't have a daughter".

You send in another letter:

"oh sir saari,my mistake.Aap to bura hi maan gaye.
Aapki biwi humaare pass hai.
saari for the typo."

Even if he says I am not married,send in another stonewrapped letter,

"Sir kyun bhaav kha rahe ho?Lo khud hi bhar lo..
Aapki ______ humaare paas hai.
ab kush??"

4.Being rejected out of the class you go on to he kadi chawal waala outside the college.

Suddenly you decide to call the teacher you expelled you,in the voice of a village born,heavy voiced dad.

You(heavy voice)(on phone):Kyun bhai,aaj humaare chhore ko andar kyun ni aane diya aaj?Bade din ho gaye karcha paani diye..

(to kadi chawal waala)bhaiya,thode pakode aur daalo...humaare aate hi pakode khatam ho gaye?

(on phone):ni ni ji...aapko nahi..aap to bura maan gaye.

5.If all else fails,
Enter the class in the end.
With head held high.
The teacher asks"Now what??"
You say in booming voice

"Varun meri proxy maar di na??"

Ideas by Ankit alias fankee
Written by meeee.

Want to see more such namoonas doing their stuff??
see:

1st semester:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1267773203237338212

2nd semester:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1966325006408358202

or us fighting:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDFJzHUX4zo

Who let the Dogs out?

2006-06-08T16:51:00.000Z

This is another poem by me.As again,enjoy it but don't steal it.

Comments,brickbats,welcome.

pichale dino kuch kutte mere paas aye,
bole thukral ji, apni rishtedaari ka faarz nibhayeen,
humeen kuch sawal sata raheen hain,
kripya kar humeen unka uttar batayeen.

unka sawal sunke main chaunk gaya,
laga koi mere kaan ke paas bhaunk gaya,
vo bole batayeeye,kya hota,yadi insaan kuute ke lakhshan dekhlenge?
main bola,mujh ko aapko sunghta hua payenge ,
agar aisa hota to manav badi mushkil mein pad jayega,
soocho ki itni pareshaaniyoon ka hal kahaan se layega?

classroom mein bacchoon ki waat lag jayegi,
teacher par gussa unki poonch hi batlayegi,
pati patni ke samne jitna ab bolta hai,uss se kam bol payega,
patni ki daant ke saamne sirf poonch hilata reh jayega.
"i love you" to lupt ho gayega,
har premi apni premika se chaahat,
laar tapka ke dikhlayega.

har seat mein ek ched payajayega,
aur har aadmi baithne se pehle,apni poonch ko fit karayega,
subko sadk par bhi dekh kar chalna padega,
poonch ke upar nikalti gaadiyoon ko bhi jhelna padega,
sach boloon to gussa to tab aayega,
jab office ke liye jata vyakti,
pille ki tarah chillayega.

aur jab kissi ko prakrati ki pukaar ayegi,
tab voh usko kaise seh payeega,
aas pass bathroom ho na ho,
insaan pehle khambe se hi kaam chala ega.
aur jab khali ho jaye ega,to aur bura lagega,
jab aadmi mitti jhaad kar kiye karaaye ko dhakega.

jagah jagah sungte aadmi,kis tarah jeebh dikhlayenge,
jab ek bus pakadne ke liye,stand tak hunfte hue ayeenge.

aur yadi doberman ki tarah,
kuch aadmi,bina poonch ke paye jayenge,
to shyayad ye sach ho ki vo,
IIT,IIM mein quot e ka laabh uthayenge.

par asli dikaat to tab ayeegi,jab kisi bacche ka janam hoga,
pandit ji kahenge ki bacche ka naam B se hoga,
chachi chacha,dada dadi,jab bacche ka naam sujhayenge,
aur us ko,aajeevan,boxer ke naam se bulayenge.
Bua fufa,didi bhaiya,sab bacche ko dekne ayenge,
aur us ne naak naksh uske mummy papa se milaenge.
Kahenge,iski naak papa se milti hi,kaan mummy se,
aur bacche ki poonch ko uske dada ki batlayenge.

Par ek samudaye jo is baat ka fayeeda khoob uthayega,
wo aur koi nahi neta kehlayega,
kyunki wo jo pehle tha,wahi baad mein bhi kelhayega,
kuute ka naam uske naam par char chand lagayega.

Sahi maniye,kutta insaan se har haal mein sachha hai,
aur is duniya mein,neta se to kutta hi accha hai.

SAMEER THUKRAL

Patriotic mosquitoes

2006-05-17T19:19:00.000Z

Hey this is my poem.Read it enjoy it,but don't steal it.

Hello out there,
yes you,beware,
mosquito i maybe,
but you get me wrong baby!

I work day and night,
under the harsh studio light,
to produce things that you like,
i can even speak on the mike,
just for you dear,my schedule is tight,
I appear in All out,Maxo,Good Night.

You may wonder,then why i scream,
in your ears during your dream,
but don't get me wrong silly,
its my love for you truly,really,
and also it works as waking alarm for you,
for species like you are found too few.

And we have got some rules in the game,
one cannot bite the same man again,
we do not like to drink your blood always,
but you see there are no other ways.

But now i have got PAIDS,
its similar to your AIDS,
only just it is aquired politically,
my days remain too few,i tell you really,
I got on friday night,the disease,
I went to Janpath,just at ease,
there i entered a politician's home,
conspiring against his country own,
I bit him,drank:fodder,coffins and bofors,
the blood of the one who drinks yours,
but sadly,at his turn,malaria no,dengue no,
and he gave me PAIDS at one go,
and now i lay dying here,
and he might the enjoying there.

But don't be dissapointed for me,
this might be the turn of destiny,
Bush is coming and he might be next,
i'll be prepared on his context,
for people like him are found rarely,
please pray,i get him,even if barely.

SAMEER THUKRAL

Hello world!

2006-05-17T19:17:00.000Z

Hello world!

The world is in hurry,so are you and so am I.So i'll just inagurate this blog by saying this is a blog for all you Shakespears and Sunil Jogis,for those who write peoms,err,poems.

Poems,about life,about India,about fun and laughter.

Thoughout the span of this bloglife,this new member of the virutal world will feature,poems,of course,both by me and by you.

And after reading my poems and your poems,it is actully a compulsion for the one who reads it,to clap,

beacuse in India,my country,we believe that those who wont clap after a god poem,would go clapping in each household,in their next life.

So enjoy this journey,this bilingual blog,by making your contributions and copying mine.

Sameer Thukral,
16,
Noida,
India