Sunday, August 31, 2008

A tribute to the original linguist!

Ever wondered from where do the gracious words like fundoo,todu,fodu,rapchick,dhaakad and many others come from.

I think i just came across the source,the fountains of such words.

They are simply you and me,but rewinded a few years backwards.For some it will be rewinded many years backwards.

They are children below the ages of 5,at their creative best.

When i listen to such children calling,a computer,adum.
When i listen to such children calling,sleep,nina.
calling pen,mann.nature's call,chicha.
going to lu,as su.
calling nani,nun.calling food,khau.
calling chewing food as kattu kattu.

calling opening something(kholna),as lolo.
calling sitting down(beutho),as te to.
anything which is double,as tutu.

And another calling rain as appa mum mum.
and yet another calling loo,as vivi.

And the most amazing children singing,Bulla ki jaana main kaun,by Rabbi Shergil,

as "Bulla se shana(smarter) kaun?"

i am forced to think,who the real geniuses are!

How to get anwers out of the inviglator while in an exam.

This one was about to happen in our microbio invigilator was from the same field,and though not mentioned but there were multiple answers,to the questions.

Now as it happens with such questions,you don't know which question has more than one answer and which doesn't.

here's a technique to differentiate.

call up on the teacher(invigilator) from the same field.

Ask her:

"madamji,matlab isme ek se jyaada answers hain?"

teacher:"beta,aapko jo samajh aata hai aap kariye.Haan paper mein kuch questions mein ek se jyaada answers hain."

You:"Ni ni..madam.aap samjhi nahi.matlab,ye waala jo question paper hain,usmein ek se jyaada answers hain?"

teacher:beta aap jo sahi samjhte hain kariye.

you:mam aap samjh ni rahi.paper mein to hain.main aapse pooch raha hun,ki ISS question mein multiple answers hain ki nahi??

madam:beta paper mein jo question hain aap dhyaan se padiye,phir asnwer kijiye.

you:yaar is aurat ko koi samjh jao.padi likhi ho,ek baar mein baat samjh nahi aati.main pooch raha hoon...ISS question mein multiple answers hian ya nahi?.


you:yaar isko teacher kisne bana diya.baidi bhuddhi...ab saanp soongh gaya?Main kya pooch raha hoon aapse..aur kya jawaab de rahi ho.

teacher:(starts going away)

you:"nahi nahi..ji,aap to bura hi maan gayee...aapke saath to ghar waali baat hai..beta kya kar raha hai aapka?accha accha...12th ki tyaari hai.IIT ka to paper is baar easy hi tha.Accha achaa....coaching kahan se le raha hai...accha ji accha..badia hai."

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

A dose of aldoses!

rasta dekho from icici bank to g9 ka.
har padaav pe ek ek cheez rakhte jao.

erthyrose(earthworm se erthy..icici bank ke upar se necche se..har jagah se..gaurd bhaiya ko dhakte hue..dekho isko..properly...)

threose(teen log vermicomposting bin pe lage huein hain...teen=three)(accha ji teen three hota hai?)

ribose(SAC ke neecche ribose ka room hai)

arabinose(ek "arab" aadmi us ribose ke room mein batiha hua hai)

xylose("xyls" ki ghadi pehne tuck shop waale bhaiya...chuttaa maang rahe hain)

lyxose(tum unse "lux" saabun maagte ho)

allose(allu..naina aur bharoon mein aaloo fight chal ri hai tuck se saamne baithne ki jagah par)

altrose(alto gaadi aa jandi hai tiffin room ke pass)

glucose(glucon d milta hai cafe mein)

mannose(mann-nose...yessss waale bhaiya..unki naak dekhi hai?)

gulose(gulabo..ek ladki paraanda hilaati hui grls hostel ke saamne se nikalti hai)

idose(sammer asks any body to give "eye dose" while at fountains)

galactose(sameer ke gande jokes pe sab uska "gala" pakad lete hain and take hm to photocpy machine)

talose(talli hoke saare ke saare g9 pahunchte hain..)

chee sameer...pehle to gande jokes sirf bolta tha..ab likhna bhi shuru??
aye haye!

Monday, August 25, 2008

aaj ki hoya!

here's what happened today:

1.biochem ji taught us lipids 2.not very tough.lecture net pe daal ditta hai:

2.No other class was atended.pd waali said ki she was going to teach bout 2 other types of elasticity,naam ni yaad.

3.ab asli baat...
govinda govinda said:paper would be easy.he doesnot like tough conceptual ques,few simple numericals,differentaition based 2-3 derivations.max question of 6 marks.6 parts.

hehe..biochem ji told us,do fat soluble vitamins..bole to KEDA.

funnay part:Library waala burped in front of ankit(and me too burped(louder),hehe no body noticed).
i asked what is the full form of tee ee em ee deee??

chee fanky!

and me taugt fankee and baban and BHAROOON..aldoses!!!yay!
strucure and funtions...
arab waala banda with lyxs ki gadi selling alloooo

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Bachna aye hasseno

Now my brother came home watching this pig of a movie
and this is how he explained to me how it went:

"Pehle part mein story nahi thi...

doosre part mein humein parwah nahi thi!"


Thursday, August 14, 2008

How to enter your class after being expelled?

Recently,being denied attending a class,being only 5 minutes late,due to another teacher who held up for long(no,really we don't study this much,ahh...we were on the phone),we sat upon thinking what could we do,using horse sense to enter the class
at any cost.

I'll refer to my teacher as Sir.

The sequential algorithm for entering the tut class at Ts10(Tutorial room 10) is:

1.Poke in your head and ask,Sir may I come in?.You'll get your answer as no.
Wait for 2 minutes.Poke in your head again and this time say,Sir may I come in please?and make faces that'll give cute puppies a complex.

If step one fails:

2.Enter the class with all might.Open the door wide and go on walking to take a seat.The teacher says,"You boy".Act as if you can't listen and speak."ah?ah ha?ahaha?".

The teacher repeats,you repeat.Continue until the teacher says"ok for gods sake have seat".
You have a seat.You:Thank you sir.

The teacher is perturbed and asks how could you listen to that line?
You again go on"ah?ah ha?ahaha?".

3.Throw a stone wrapped letter from outside.The letter says:

"Aapki beti humaare paas hai.Jyaada chalaaki dikhaane ki zaroorat nahi hai,nahi to aapki beti ke tukde tukde kar ke,
ok,baaki baatein baad mein.Humein andar aane do."

The teacher screams from inside"I don't have a daughter".

You send in another letter:

"oh sir saari,my mistake.Aap to bura hi maan gaye.
Aapki biwi humaare pass hai.
saari for the typo."

Even if he says I am not married,send in another stonewrapped letter,

"Sir kyun bhaav kha rahe ho?Lo khud hi bhar lo..
Aapki ______ humaare paas hai.
ab kush??"

4.Being rejected out of the class you go on to he kadi chawal waala outside the college.

Suddenly you decide to call the teacher you expelled you,in the voice of a village born,heavy voiced dad.

You(heavy voice)(on phone):Kyun bhai,aaj humaare chhore ko andar kyun ni aane diya aaj?Bade din ho gaye karcha paani diye..

(to kadi chawal waala)bhaiya,thode pakode aur daalo...humaare aate hi pakode khatam ho gaye?

(on phone):ni ni ji...aapko nahi..aap to bura maan gaye.

5.If all else fails,
Enter the class in the end.
With head held high.
The teacher asks"Now what??"
You say in booming voice

"Varun meri proxy maar di na??"

Ideas by Ankit alias fankee
Written by meeee.

Want to see more such namoonas doing their stuff??

1st semester:

2nd semester:

or us fighting: