Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Terror attack?haw....hun ki?

Recently,4-6 darinde came to our country and showed us where we are and what we stood for.

Fine enough,they thought they were cool enough to barge into any hotel and start firing indiscriminately,and we thought we are also cool enough to shoot them down and plan a counter terrorist strategy.

We were exposed,they were exposed(and killed) and now we have great talks with all intellectuals participating and describing what happened,why it happened,who is to blame and what is to be done...blah blah..

Thats for what you see on tv.On your part,you did a candle light vigil,forwarded anti-(politicians,terrorist,Pakistan,everyone) messages,and now wait for the hotshots to take decision,while you check your mail and forward some more anti terror emails to other people.

I am not mocking any of this,because it is all happening for good..but long?

bole to..this is all YOUR knee jerk reaction,your impetus decision,your at the moment way of venting out your anger.aur ab aage??

These knee jerk reactions are all but essential to make our politicians and government restructure,reorganize,recalibrate,redesign(and all other long words) our anti terror mechanism.
But on your part,are you living/doing/eating/sleeping/something to stop terror??

Seedhe saadhe sabdon mein beta..end mein....tum velle ho.(well most of us)

Ek kaam karo,is algorithm ko follow karo: ghatiya article ko padne ke baad,dimaag shant karo. article ke baare mein kissi aur ko batao.(cheap publicity)
3.kya ab aage bhi main hi batau?...ok ok...senti mat ho..
do this:
take a firm decision,to complete,or do something(anything) that has been lagging for long,that you always wanted to do,that you thought had talent to do,but never the time.

Use this attack as an opportunity,to complete anything that you always said you'll do later.
plant a tree,prepare a dance,write a book,give some money to charity,spend some time with some NGO,paint,shoot a video,visit a new place,start loving more..start smiling at strangers...

In short,do something,that is creative,that shall spread love.
You need not specially chose the theme to be terrorism or violence.Just express your talent.

kyunki bidu..(the line for which i wrote this whole article)...
Its only absence of love that has made these things happen..

to kya khayal hai?
(chee sameer,tujhse bakwaasss article koi ni likh sakta)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Moongphali mein daana nahi...

ok so a few jokes..roaming in my acche waale hain..

1.we recently gave out an ad in the newspaper for renting out the ground floor.

Aisa nahi hai ki humne puraane kiraye daar ko bahut pareshaan kiya ho,ya uske ghar pe na

hote hue,uska fridge khola ho,ya fridge khol kar uski Us se laayee gayi,Lindt choclate

khayee ho,ya uska kuch samaan gaayab kiya ho...bas woh aise hi chchod kar jaa raha hai...

So we get calls from morning till evening..and guess what...every call we ask:
"aap party hain ya broker?"
(khosla ka ghosla..joke??)
2.I was stading at andrews ganj bus stop.trynig to act lazy by not walking to Ansal

plaza,while it is just a few metres away and trying to find a way via bus to that place.
pehle bande se poocha... ansals ke liye?
he says...catch a bus numbered 413..
fine..thanku bhaiya.aur koi?
aur hain to sahi..par pata nahi.
ok..thanku bhaiya..

saamne ek aunty khadi ho kar moongphali khayee jaa ri thi..mennu chadi khundak...issliye ni

ki woh mujhse pooch ni rahi thi..isliye kyunki..ahem..woh chilke neeche pahen rahi thi..chee


me goes upto that aunty.. ansal plaza ke liye kaise jaaye? kahan par hai?

me:aunty bas mud kar hi yahan se left turn..
aunty:to beta paidal chale jao..

me:aunty phir bhi...matlab joo bhi bas left mudegi...sab jaayengi..
aunty:haan...hmm...*cracks moongphali*...*eats it*...hmmm..*chews it*..hmm...accha..413

number bas..
me:ok aunty.thanku.
moongphali acchi hai?
aunty:*bewildered**still cracking moongphali with teeth*...hmm..acchi hai..
me:aap chilke neeche ni phainko gi to aur acchi lagegi!!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

ye hai biochem...kamino acids...

Urea cycle:
bicarbonate->carboxyphosphate->carbamic acid->carbomoyl phosphate
carbomoyl phosphate synthetase
(ac block)

actual cycle:

carbomyl phos+ornithine->citrulline
ornithine transcarbomylase

citrulene+asparate->argininosuccinate - fumerate->arginine
argininosuccinate sythetase




brain swelling due to excess of glutamine

argininisuccinase def.
excess agrinine is supplied.per molecule of arginine,2 nitrogen excreted.

carbomoyl phosphate synthase def,or ornithine transcarbomoylase def.accumulates as glycine

and glutamine
benzoate and phenylacetate

Benzoyl CoA->hippurate
(all out,photo,paper,plug pt.)
phenylacetate->phenyl acetyl CoA->phenyl acetyl glutamine

uricotelic:purine uric acid.

entry points:
pyruvate:SAC GWOT(har jyot)
serine,ala,cysteine, glycine,typtophan,threonine


alpha keto glutarate:herp(es) q

Succinyl CoA

all caps:homo(dostana) gents

maple syrup:KIVi

Phenylketonuria:phenylalanine hydroxylase

hydroxy laces?

Saturday, November 22, 2008

u asked for it...fermentation(micro)

EM pathway

homolactic:entry of bikaner waala,wahan par doodh mil raha hai.
mixed acid:ground floor k counter par,banda cocktail bana raha hai aur pooch ra hai,tezab kitna daalu?

butanediol:ice cream counter par,sunny deol(diol) ka cut out hai.acetoin:sunny deol is toying with the acid.

butyric acid and butanol acetone:paani peene ki jagah par,tyre pada hua hai,glasses ko bandhne ke liye.

propionic acid:dosa counter par,bahut saare pans pade hue unusual se hain...

phosphoketolase:first floor par,counter par,bahut saare keet patange hain,jo ud rahe hain aur cashier ko pareshan kar rahe hain.
G3p(GAP) and acetyl phosphate...cashier ne GAP ki shirt pehni hai aur uske peeche ke menu board par,acid tiles lagi hui hain.

ED pathway:
at the loo waali jagah,first floor.KDPG..pareshaan karne waale keede(KeeDe) tumhaare peeche aa jaate hain into the loo..u run to harjyot paagi(PG) for help.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

learn micro...the bakwass way..

dunno..but wrote this up to learn the calvin cycle and green non sulfur bacteria.

green S bacteria:

reverse T?CA cycle
citrate lyase.
all other enzymes are same.

green non S
hydroxy propionate pathway
place:LRC top floor

kone ki table->books ki lift->computers->ingraham waala rack->aunty ki seat->moveable rack->andar ka kamara->side ke rack->sheeshe ke doors

acetyl CoA
kone ki table:acid with tiles.

malonyl CoA

5 steps
computers:5 corresponds to a hook,u re typing ont the keyborad using a hook

propionyl CoA
rack:ye bahut ganda hai...baban oil?pappan oil?propan oil?

Methyl malonyl CoA
aunty:methanol ki min khaa ri hain..baalon mein tel laga hua hai..

Succinyl CoA
chota rack:lollipop...??

3 steps
andar ka kamra:3->heart.andar hearts rugery happens for people who get heart attacks after visiting the LRC for the first time.

Malyl CoA
bade rack:mal....ek detective ki meeting...maal kahan laana hai?centre ke do racks ke beech mein.

seeshe ka darwaaza:gaai and ox bandhe hue hain tot the seeshe ka darwaaza...maaawww...

cyanobacteria and purple bacteria

RubisCo and phosphoribulokinase

place:g9 ke bahar
mitti ki jagah,jahan pohe lagte kum aur ukhaade jyaada jate hain->kopcha->g9 ka gate->regulator(jo bech mein se toota hua hai)->teacher table->projector->dosri side ke switch->doosri side ka gate->bada waala gat jo khula rehta hai,jo orange colour ka hai->fire ka cupboard

miiti:rubis pade hue hain wahan par,aur 1(danda) ke aage 5(hook) laga kar tum unhe doondh rahe ho.

2X 3phosphoglyceric acid
Kopcha:aape apne ghar ke guests ko wahan baithaya hai,and u r saying..dil(3) ka sharbat peejiye..

1,3 bisphosphoglycerate
gate:gate par bhabhi ji kadi hain..aap unse kehte hain,bhabhi ji aap bhi peejiye..(BPGA)

glyceraldehyde 3 phosphate
regulator:regulatoron ne ek hip hop gang banaya hai and they r wearing GAP t shirts.

dihydroxy acetone phosphate
(dhap)teacher table:teacher ko peeche se aake u say Dhappa!

fructoSe 1,6 bisphosphate
projector ke upar fruits pade hain and u r trying to bring them down using a danda..while the teacher behind you coms up with a hockey stick to take his revenge.

doosri side ke switch mein tum hockey stick kmaar maar k andar chipe fruits ko bahar nikaane ki koshish kar rahe ho.

momentary relief ke liye,tum doore side ke gate par glucon d ka khaali carton chipka dete ho.

rubies se jada hua orange gate.aur uspar hook laga kar log rubis chura re hain.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

how to black mail your teachers...

Now this is really true...this is what we did plan to do when we were sick of waiting for hours(half hour) for our turn in the biotechnology experiment.

There's an apparatus called the laminar flow,just to keep the air inside it sterile.Since we have 3 such things in our college(which is still great,comparing to other colleges),we still have to wait while our turn comes up to use it.

So,the way we devised was very simple.a few phone calls,a few sim cards and peace of mind.

Step 1.
look for your teachers keys lying on the table around the lab.

Step 2.steal it.

now comes the fun part..
call up your teacher from the cold room(every biotech lab has one,in order to keep things which we have already spoit,unspoiled).Say to her in a heavy voice..

"aapka chaabi ka guccha humaare pass hai.agar gucche ki salaamati chahte ho,to chup chap group 4 ko sabse pehle experiment karne do."

teacher will reply:tumhe jo chahiye wo le lo,bas mere challe ko kuch mat karna.

you:jyaada hoshaari dikhaane ki koshish ki to tumhaari challe ke tukde tukde kar ke washing room me chupa denge.agali awaaz tumhaare challe ki hogi...

place the key ring in front of the handset and shake it..


you:hmm...agali baar phone karke batayenge ki challa kahan aur kab milega.

move out of the cold room,see her reaction,see how many people are left to do the suddenly see her talking to the lab assistant.

you call up again:hmm...tumhe kahan nahi tha jyaada hoshiyaari karne ki koshish ki to..
ab tumhaare challe se tumhaari gaadi ki chabi..

remove the key marked "maruti" from the challa.

teacher:nahiii...mere gaadi ki chaabi nahi!

you:to kyun ki itni hoshiyaari?chup chap experiment ka samaan le kar,cold storage mein aa jao.Aur is baar kissi lab assistant ya HOD ko iktila kari to...

teacher:haan haan theek hai..

By the time,she comes to the cold storage,you leave the chaabi ka challa there,move to the laminar flow,do your experiment(by this time,everyone would have done theirs,and youd've had your fun),
ask some doubts to the lab assistant(to appear innocent and completely interested),and then while your teacher is inside the cold room,lock her from outside!!

easy na!

courtesy:fankee(ankit) and words by sameer..

Friday, October 17, 2008

The real story behind karwa chauth! amny of you want the real thing,the hidden story behind karwa it is,direct from a kavi sammelan in Noida

It goes like this:

Once,The owl,the vehicle of goddess lakshmi,got very irritated.. He was very sad and agonized at the same time.How could they?Why should they?were the questions roaming in his mind..

Goddess Lakshmi asked him,Whats ur problem?
Thus he spoke:

The vehicles of all gods are worshiped with their festivals.Vishnu ji's vehicle is worshiped,Shankar ji's vehicle is worshiped,even Ganesh ji's vehicle is worshiped...but never me.No body ever cares to worship me.

So goddess Lakshmi said okay,my dear vehicle.I'll look into the matter.She called an all party meeting in the heaven and everybody discussed the issue.
Finally the matter was decided..

Thus she spoke:
Okay,The owl,my vehicle.So you have it.You know that I am worshiped on Diwaali,every year,by one and all...
So lets have this,You shall be worshiped by all women..just a few days before diwaali..

and thus the festival of karwa chauth was born!
(pun intented)!!

Monday, October 06, 2008

A Hitch Hikers Guide to Akshardham

So there must be a lot of the college people who always wondered what the great temple that stands at the corner of noida more(or patpatganj) is all about.

And there might be another lot who had been there with other college people who also wondered so.

This article is for the first category,though there are no fines for the second category to read it.

Related to fines:there are a lot of rules and regulations regarding the entry of akshardham should not carry,ANY electronic item inside,neither any eatables except a bottle of water(if that is an eatable) or a small wallet.

If you still do bring along any of the prohibited items,they might be thrown in the dustbin(if you do not care) or might be kept in the always busy with huge lines cloak room(if you do care).

Most of the weekends,the temple is busy with people like us,roaming around,or people unlike us shoving bombs into the dustbins(mind you the security at the temple is air tight,you undergo a lot a tests(no not for doping)..and its for your safety).

So better go on weekdays,but NOT on a monday.(no its not about your solah(16) somvaar vrat..the temple is closed).

The best outfit to go in is a kurta lungis,no shorts.

the kurta makes ur entry inside the premises really easy and fast.Though a jeans and tee,non objectionable, no revealing, would be fine too.

Ladies,better wear a suit,though well covering tops and jeans are allowed.

Plenty of food joints inside serving khaman dhokla(they are gujratis)(15 bucks) and yummy sandwiches(35 bucks)(though the cost is a bit high..and higher for those who are able to live on a plate of maggi per day).

You can either roam around the temple and then come back or make your time worthwhile and enlightening(yes i do get commission for this) watching the exhibtion,about the story of Swami Narayan(no guesses for who he was..i'll give you a hint..the temple is called Swami Narayan Akshardham)

The exhibition costs 125 bucks per banda/bandi.but is really worth it.(you can imagine i have been there 3 times).

It includes a animated series of stories,an automated boat ride and a movie on the IMAX theater.(no its not Sinnnggh is kiinngg)

pay rs 20 extra for a great light and music fountain show, happening at 7:15 pm.(you can go to the temple only for this too. separate tickets for the fountain show are available)

And while going not miss out the souvenir shop near the canteen. It sports great tees for 150 to 250 bucks..cds for 40rs.and nice souvenirs to gift at reasonable prices.

The best way to reach the temple is by catching a rs 10 auto to patpatganj from the chowki near the collg.and then taking a rs 15 rickshaw to the temple.

and if youre going with a team, make sure you return before 8 since the auto's are a scarce after this time.

So I summarize:
reach by auto,catch a rickshaw.
No eatable,gadgets,lighteretc. indside.Carry the minimum.
Small wallets are allowed. NO big purses/bags.
Plenty of eateries inside.
You can either see the temple and/or the exhibition.
Musical fountains is gud too.

Since I enjoy people staying on my blog for a long time,i again repeat, some things not to forget:

Make your trip on weekdays. weekends will see you waiting for at least 2 hours, for entry into the exhibition, and that too you need to get ur tickets time stamped.(seriously)

Carry minimum amount of extras(big purses,bags,phones(there's a booth inside)).You don't want trips to the cloak room be your only parikrama.

Make sure you have the parikrama of the main shrine.the elephant carving is really worth a watch.
Best go in winters. and NOT on a MONDAY.

MOST IMPORTANT:Pay me a commission if you liked the temple.s Pay me in cash or kind at the bikaner waala,even if you didn't enjoy.

Monday, September 29, 2008

aao TCA yaad karein

TCA cycle:

1.pyruvate+ CoA+NAD+ -> acetyl CoA+co2+NADH

pyruvate dehydrogenase

E1:pyruvate dehydrogenase complex,TPP(thiamine pyrophosphate),oxidative decarboxlation of pyruvate.

E2:dihyroxylipoyl transacetylase,lipoamide,tranfer of acetly to CoA.

E3:dihyroxy lipoyl dehyrogenase,FAD,regeneration of oxidized lipoamide.

place:the playing ground

E1:badminton court

paru is waiting with hydrogen cylinders tied to his back.he's playing badminton,peeche se bharoon aake kehta hai...TaPPu!paru gives himthis-is-badminton-not-basketball-looks.

E2:tennis court
2 botal paani(1 on each pole of the net) aur ek lolipop(in the centre of the net) padi hai tennis court mein.
dihyroxy lipoly

aur phir bobby darling with acetic acid aati hai,to play tennis.

E3:basketball court
dihyroxy lipoyl dehydrogenase.

simply:decarb->transfer of acetyl->lipoyl ki marammat by hydrogen to FAD,then to NAD.

2.the cycle:

from:lt3->boys lu->generator waali jagah->mandir->fountain->buletin board->uniform shop->photcopy place


entry of LT2 turned into a huge citrus fruit,orange ya lemon.
aur lemon ke bagal mein,synth par,bahut tez tez moozic baja raha hai.(synthase)

boys lu:isocitrate,acotinase

me sleeping in the boys room(i so).
with me is Acon,wohi gande gaane gaane waala.

generator room:alpha keto glutarate,dehydrogenase

since the generator waali jagah is undergound,as you open its door,bahoot saare keet makoode slam into your face.aur tum neeche jhank ke dekte see a lot of water in it.(hydro)

madir:succinyl CoA,dehydrogenase

mandir mein prashad mein sabko lolipop milti hai to suck.
of course,yahn bhi dhaer saara paani hai.that has come from a well(kuan)(CoA)


fountain pe nate log(dg,beeps and riccha) are eating a lolipop.(succinate)

peehce background music for this grand event is being done by bharoon standing insde the fountain,on sythesizer,teasing all of them.

buletin board:fumerate,dehydrogenase

bultein board pe bahut saare logon ko crucify kara gaya hai,but unmein se sirf kuch(few) hi mare hain.

and you revve the survivors using water(dehydrogenase)

uniform shop:malate,fumarase

a few people are counting money(maal) outside the uniform shop.
unme se kuch,mar jaate hain.ginte ginte.

photocopy shop:oxaloacetate,dehydrogenase

photocopy waale bhaiya ke pass,ek bael(ox) khadi hai.
aur woh usko paani pilaane ko aapko bol rahe hain.

Regulation: pyruvate dehydrogenase.

swithed off when energy charge is high

- acetyl CoA,ATP,NADH activate kinase.
+ ADP,Pyruvate,,NAD+(deactivate kinase) Ca2+ activate phosphatase.

2.Isocitrate dehydrogenase

3.Alpha keto glutarate
-succinyl coa,NADH,ATP

Arsenite poisoning
arsenite ind to e2.
BAL(2,3 dimercaptopropanol)(23(neem)DMP)(dimpy naam ki ladki) used to relieve the arsenite.

glyoxylate cyle
Acetate+CoASH+ATP->Acetly CoA+AMP+ppi

acotinase,isocitrate lysase,matale synthase,malate dehydrogenase,citrate synthase

saare GLUT's ke naam

once again:
7=bread pakora(non cafe waala)

GLUT:glutton yaani babban,FANKEE,bharoon and sameer
all this in front of LRC

GLUT1 and 3:basal uptake of glucose.

sameer ke paaron(base) pe glucose girta hai aur woh apne aap hi paero se "saukh"(absorb) liya jaata hai.the he says i am full..

then...ek "dande" se apne "dil" par ghae ghae karta hai.

GLUT 2:liver and pancreas.
liver se glucose uptake badhaana.(removes glucose from blood)
pancreas se insulin nikalwaana.

glut 2 matlab baban jiske sar par "duck" hai.
and he holds and appliation for "leave"r aur sameer ko dekhte hi usne appication andar daal li,of course bag mein.(uptake of glucose)

aur phir andar se usne ek pan(creas) nikaala aur sameer ke sir pe dee maara..jisse uska ghae ghae band ho gaya.sameer thanks babban.

GLUT 4:muscle and fat cells.

bharoon(GLut 4) jo ki "chair" pe baitha hai kyunki woh thak gaya hai,aur usko bhook lagi hai aur jo apne dolle(muscle) dikha raha hota hai aur naina se dolle compare kar raha hota hai
baban(yaani insulin) ko dekh kar ek dam khada ho jaata hai.

GLUT 5:primary fructose transporter
fankee,pirate waala "hook",lekar sabke baag check karta hai..for apple(fructose hota hai na usme).

learn glyconeo

farak b/t nea and glycolysis:

subsrate:add OAA

enzymes:(stored in computer lab entry)(computer-->matrix-->neo??)
1.pyruvate carboxylase:lockers,
paru wait carbon copy ke saath.

2.PEP carboxykinase
:biochem lab ka door jo kabhi nahi khulta,
registrar giving "pep" talk,to cutta kameena(me and fankee)

:boys,loo ki entry,
wahan par fan ke ek fresher ko exhaust fan par latka kar,tasing,oops teasing ho ri hai.

glucose ki kami ke karan,teasing karte hue bande,thak kar neeche gir jaate hain.

haan pata hai,marne peetne ki baat jab tak na aaye tab tak mazza kahan aata hai.

entry points yaad karne ka tareeka:
computer lab ke andar

at:entry karke right ko jo board aata hai uspar.doodh gira hua hai.
aur woh board "kora"(blank tha...)tabhi wahan par "cori" cycle hoti hai.

6 atp lagte hain,6=>hockey stick.board ke side mein ek hockey stick padi hui hai.uspar likha hai,incase of yamuna,use hockey stick.

2.amino acid
except luesine,lysine:leusingh is king,ly has seen it all.

place:register,jispar sign karna padta hai,jo ek printer ke upar pada rehta hai.

alanine transaminase.
(trans=>bobby darling,whan kar printer par batihi/baitha hua hai)

Ala->urea(potty jokes)
(i won't say it,nahi to tum log meri jaan khaa jaoge,but you can understand,how to relate bobby darling to potty)

at:the gaurds who sits in the comp lab,abhi tak pata ni chal paaya kyun baithta hai.

glcerol->glycerol phospate->Dhappa!
so the gaurd has been sitting there for so long that in order to preserve him,we put glycerol over him.
and since wo wahan par bade dino se batiha hota hai,gas to banegi phospate:fusfate.

aur phir usko jagaane ke liye ek banda peeche se usko dhappa karta hai!



at:the room where all the teachers sit in the coputer room.

propionyl CoA->D-methylmalonyl CoA->L-methylmalonyl CoA->Succinyl CoA


melon oil!

PC lekar baithe bande,MCD(bulldozer) ke intezaar mein,
kahat "L"aalu(see me as the operator of bulldozer) suno bhayee c2,socks(soccinyl CoA) ke bazar mein.
(meri socks ki badu se bulldozer ki zarooratni padi!)
(haan haan marle gande jokes,aur kab mauka milega tujhe??)


learn Glycogenolysis and glycogenlysis


4 steps in biotech labs.

1.glycogen phosphorlyase

VAc ko khola to usmein se bahut saari badbu(fus) bahar aayi and uske andar bahut saara fur

rakha hua tha,jo ek dande(1) par latka hua tha.fusfur.

mol bio ki lab entry par,jahan humein microbio ke paper dikhaaye gaye the.

phoshorylase stops 4 residues prior to the 1,6 link.

tranferase:transfers 3 residues
alpha-1,6-glucosidase releases the single glucose unit.
hexokinase phophorylates it.

stop->tranfer->release->fusfur. as you were going to the biochem lab,you stop at the mol bio lab and say:whats it?

2.andar jaa kar,you see ki sink ke pass,kissi teacher ka tranfer order pada hua hai. were happy ki ye biochem teacher ka hai,but then see ki ye to agle saal ka you

release release it to the other side,sidase.

4.the room suddenly became smelly(fus) and you decide to go away as the lab ass comes to

with a hockey stick.(6=>hexokinase)

(ab mujhe mat kehna,what can i do,jab phosphorlyation ka fus hi ban paata hai)

3.phosphogluco mutase

cold storage mein,GMO 39 pada hua hai.woh mutant variety hai.

done by glucose 6 phoshatase.
transported out by GLUT 2.

how dearly you wish ki biochem lab phat jaaye,with all teachers inside.

Von girke's disease

lack of glucose-6-phosphatase.
so glucose-6p cannot be released as glucose into the blood.


from washing areain biotech labs to the mtech labs.

overall reaction
by glycogen synthase

by the idea of Hi(a confidential) the washing area would also serve as a south

indian uska naam udippi(UDP) rakh diya gaya.wahan ki main dish glucond hoti

hai.aur peehce music dene ke liye synthsizer(synth) ka bhi ue kiya jaa raha hai.

part of reactions:

UTP+glucose->UDP glucose+PPi
by UDP glucose pyrophosphorylase

thermo labki entry pe.spagetti hair khada hai(wohi tissue paper and water waala,jiski beti

ki shaadi thi).
uske bete ka Unit test(UT-P) aane waala hai,to woh uski copy le kar khada hai.aur fankee k

paer("pyro"phosphatase) padta hai,to teach his son some english.(what did you just said?)

by inorganic pyrophosphatase
instumentation lab ki entry par,woh dantne waala lab ass khada hai(wahi jiske saamne bharoon

ne psst pss..idhar aa kiya tha).

so you say to him to let you "in",aur sirf itna sunte hi woh bhi tumhaare paer par gir

kar,phat jaata hai.

branching is done by glycosyl-(4-6)-transferase
at:jahan par pittete rakhe hote hain.

us pippete stand emin ek jagah hockey(6) padi hoti hai,aur ek jagah chair(4),to teacher aake

bolti hai,uko interchange kardo,i.e.,transfer kardo,kyunki woh khud ni kar sakti,unke ghar

mein koi "ill"(glyco"syl")hai.

new glycogen cannot be formed without primer.
primer banaane ka enzyme:glycogenin

mircowave par zung lagne lagta hai to uspar primer(red colour ka paint hota hai) uski ek

layer lagayee jaa ri hai.aur nina(naina) painting kar ri hai.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

maarna mat..glycolysis

okies..isme mnemonics(memory ke drame) ka ek aur method use hoga for digits..called shape number method..based on similarity of shapes with

6=hockey stick

abhi k liye inna hi...

the glycolysis cyle as follows:

maggi corner to lrc
glucon d ka dabba at maggie corner.maggie mein glucon d dal raha hai.

gate kehl rahe hain humaare gaurds.

oat.hockeyeeyaan lati hui hai on the 'F'ans

administration ka par danda and hockey dono.

std booth.

dhappa khelte hue log.ek ko lag jaati hai and he starts crying using glycerine(glyceraldehyde) ke jhoote aansoon.sko ulti aane lagti hai..aur woh "heart" pe haath maar maar kar..ghae ghae karne lagta hai.

main area mein baithne waale phatte.
ek danda lekar,heart surgery ho ri hai.
fankee kar raha hai.

photocopy ke side ji jagah.heart pada hua hai,aur woh minnat kar raha hai ketan se ki use hostel mein rehne de,kyunki woh "PG" mein rehte rehte bore ho gaya hai.

photocopy ki dukaan.ek battak photocopy machine ke oopar baithi hai.

notice bored.registrars message giving some "pep" talk!

lrc ke gate par.paru..(c3) waala is waiting.
paru wait!

alchol fermentation
pyruvate decaroxylase
alcohol dehyrogenase

lactic acid fermentation
lactate dehydrogenase.

entry points for fructose and galactose

fructokinase,frucose-1-phosphate aldolase,triose kinase.

i stored this in my almirah.
bottom most khaana,to top most "parchatti".
fan,fan danda,rota hua baccha(glyceraldehyde),rota hua baccha with ghae.

gal>gal-1-p>UDP gal>UDP glu

4 drawers:
galla(tijori),galla danda,udippi(south indian galla),udippi glucon d.

galactokinase,galactose 1p uridyl transferase,UDP gal 4 epimerase.


chee sameer!

Friday, September 12, 2008

lecture ke chutkule!

aaj ke jokes:

1.varun waala mast!

bacchon ko daaraane ke liye mostly kehte hain...bahar mat jaana nahi to baba aa jayega.

to ek baar,aise hi ek bacche ko bachpan mein khoob daraya gaya.
jab woh bada ho gaya,uski shaadi ho gayee,

tab uski biwi usse kehti...
mujhe kahin ghumaane bahar le chalo

banda:nahi..bahar nahi jaana..baba aa jayega.

biwi:nahi..nahi..woh to bachpan mein hota tha..tumhe daraane ke liye.ab tum bade ho gaye ho.

banda:to kya hua?BABA bhi to bada ho chuka hoga.

2.pd waala

the teacher scheduled an extra class on monday some of our people protested ki mam hum logon ko 2 baje free ho jaana hota hai..

how we protested:

mam,hum to aapko apna samajte the.aisi baatein apno ko shobha nahi deti.

3.mast waala fanky ka...

biochem mein,ek baby ki photo thi,and uska poora digestive system bata rakha tha.she was explaining about lactose intolerance.

teacher wanted us to read the slide and then tell..

beta ye kya hai?


then she when lactose intolerant ppl,take some form of lactose,

some part of it gets accumulated in the digestive tract and then due to the microbial culture in the intestine,it gets rotten away to produce gastrointestinal problems..

me and fanky look to each other..and say to cut a long story short...


Sunday, August 31, 2008

A tribute to the original linguist!

Ever wondered from where do the gracious words like fundoo,todu,fodu,rapchick,dhaakad and many others come from.

I think i just came across the source,the fountains of such words.

They are simply you and me,but rewinded a few years backwards.For some it will be rewinded many years backwards.

They are children below the ages of 5,at their creative best.

When i listen to such children calling,a computer,adum.
When i listen to such children calling,sleep,nina.
calling pen,mann.nature's call,chicha.
going to lu,as su.
calling nani,nun.calling food,khau.
calling chewing food as kattu kattu.

calling opening something(kholna),as lolo.
calling sitting down(beutho),as te to.
anything which is double,as tutu.

And another calling rain as appa mum mum.
and yet another calling loo,as vivi.

And the most amazing children singing,Bulla ki jaana main kaun,by Rabbi Shergil,

as "Bulla se shana(smarter) kaun?"

i am forced to think,who the real geniuses are!

How to get anwers out of the inviglator while in an exam.

This one was about to happen in our microbio invigilator was from the same field,and though not mentioned but there were multiple answers,to the questions.

Now as it happens with such questions,you don't know which question has more than one answer and which doesn't.

here's a technique to differentiate.

call up on the teacher(invigilator) from the same field.

Ask her:

"madamji,matlab isme ek se jyaada answers hain?"

teacher:"beta,aapko jo samajh aata hai aap kariye.Haan paper mein kuch questions mein ek se jyaada answers hain."

You:"Ni ni..madam.aap samjhi nahi.matlab,ye waala jo question paper hain,usmein ek se jyaada answers hain?"

teacher:beta aap jo sahi samjhte hain kariye.

you:mam aap samjh ni rahi.paper mein to hain.main aapse pooch raha hun,ki ISS question mein multiple answers hain ki nahi??

madam:beta paper mein jo question hain aap dhyaan se padiye,phir asnwer kijiye.

you:yaar is aurat ko koi samjh jao.padi likhi ho,ek baar mein baat samjh nahi aati.main pooch raha hoon...ISS question mein multiple answers hian ya nahi?.


you:yaar isko teacher kisne bana diya.baidi bhuddhi...ab saanp soongh gaya?Main kya pooch raha hoon aapse..aur kya jawaab de rahi ho.

teacher:(starts going away)

you:"nahi nahi..ji,aap to bura hi maan gayee...aapke saath to ghar waali baat hai..beta kya kar raha hai aapka?accha accha...12th ki tyaari hai.IIT ka to paper is baar easy hi tha.Accha achaa....coaching kahan se le raha hai...accha ji accha..badia hai."

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

A dose of aldoses!

rasta dekho from icici bank to g9 ka.
har padaav pe ek ek cheez rakhte jao.

erthyrose(earthworm se erthy..icici bank ke upar se necche se..har jagah se..gaurd bhaiya ko dhakte hue..dekho isko..properly...)

threose(teen log vermicomposting bin pe lage huein hain...teen=three)(accha ji teen three hota hai?)

ribose(SAC ke neecche ribose ka room hai)

arabinose(ek "arab" aadmi us ribose ke room mein batiha hua hai)

xylose("xyls" ki ghadi pehne tuck shop waale bhaiya...chuttaa maang rahe hain)

lyxose(tum unse "lux" saabun maagte ho)

allose(allu..naina aur bharoon mein aaloo fight chal ri hai tuck se saamne baithne ki jagah par)

altrose(alto gaadi aa jandi hai tiffin room ke pass)

glucose(glucon d milta hai cafe mein)

mannose(mann-nose...yessss waale bhaiya..unki naak dekhi hai?)

gulose(gulabo..ek ladki paraanda hilaati hui grls hostel ke saamne se nikalti hai)

idose(sammer asks any body to give "eye dose" while at fountains)

galactose(sameer ke gande jokes pe sab uska "gala" pakad lete hain and take hm to photocpy machine)

talose(talli hoke saare ke saare g9 pahunchte hain..)

chee sameer...pehle to gande jokes sirf bolta tha..ab likhna bhi shuru??
aye haye!

Monday, August 25, 2008

aaj ki hoya!

here's what happened today:

1.biochem ji taught us lipids 2.not very tough.lecture net pe daal ditta hai:

2.No other class was atended.pd waali said ki she was going to teach bout 2 other types of elasticity,naam ni yaad.

3.ab asli baat...
govinda govinda said:paper would be easy.he doesnot like tough conceptual ques,few simple numericals,differentaition based 2-3 derivations.max question of 6 marks.6 parts.

hehe..biochem ji told us,do fat soluble vitamins..bole to KEDA.

funnay part:Library waala burped in front of ankit(and me too burped(louder),hehe no body noticed).
i asked what is the full form of tee ee em ee deee??

chee fanky!

and me taugt fankee and baban and BHAROOON..aldoses!!!yay!
strucure and funtions...
arab waala banda with lyxs ki gadi selling alloooo

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Bachna aye hasseno

Now my brother came home watching this pig of a movie
and this is how he explained to me how it went:

"Pehle part mein story nahi thi...

doosre part mein humein parwah nahi thi!"


Thursday, August 14, 2008

How to enter your class after being expelled?

Recently,being denied attending a class,being only 5 minutes late,due to another teacher who held up for long(no,really we don't study this much,ahh...we were on the phone),we sat upon thinking what could we do,using horse sense to enter the class
at any cost.

I'll refer to my teacher as Sir.

The sequential algorithm for entering the tut class at Ts10(Tutorial room 10) is:

1.Poke in your head and ask,Sir may I come in?.You'll get your answer as no.
Wait for 2 minutes.Poke in your head again and this time say,Sir may I come in please?and make faces that'll give cute puppies a complex.

If step one fails:

2.Enter the class with all might.Open the door wide and go on walking to take a seat.The teacher says,"You boy".Act as if you can't listen and speak."ah?ah ha?ahaha?".

The teacher repeats,you repeat.Continue until the teacher says"ok for gods sake have seat".
You have a seat.You:Thank you sir.

The teacher is perturbed and asks how could you listen to that line?
You again go on"ah?ah ha?ahaha?".

3.Throw a stone wrapped letter from outside.The letter says:

"Aapki beti humaare paas hai.Jyaada chalaaki dikhaane ki zaroorat nahi hai,nahi to aapki beti ke tukde tukde kar ke,
ok,baaki baatein baad mein.Humein andar aane do."

The teacher screams from inside"I don't have a daughter".

You send in another letter:

"oh sir saari,my mistake.Aap to bura hi maan gaye.
Aapki biwi humaare pass hai.
saari for the typo."

Even if he says I am not married,send in another stonewrapped letter,

"Sir kyun bhaav kha rahe ho?Lo khud hi bhar lo..
Aapki ______ humaare paas hai.
ab kush??"

4.Being rejected out of the class you go on to he kadi chawal waala outside the college.

Suddenly you decide to call the teacher you expelled you,in the voice of a village born,heavy voiced dad.

You(heavy voice)(on phone):Kyun bhai,aaj humaare chhore ko andar kyun ni aane diya aaj?Bade din ho gaye karcha paani diye..

(to kadi chawal waala)bhaiya,thode pakode aur daalo...humaare aate hi pakode khatam ho gaye?

(on phone):ni ni ji...aapko nahi..aap to bura maan gaye.

5.If all else fails,
Enter the class in the end.
With head held high.
The teacher asks"Now what??"
You say in booming voice

"Varun meri proxy maar di na??"

Ideas by Ankit alias fankee
Written by meeee.

Want to see more such namoonas doing their stuff??

1st semester:

2nd semester:

or us fighting: